WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG
WITH YOU???
The Ugly Website with the Ugly truth
Some ranting from the Animeraider, updated Mondays and Wednesdays thru Fridays in the evening Pacific Standard Time (mostly)
If you want an explanation, click on The First Post ↓
The most recent post The First Post
The infamous "Republicans are Pedophiles" post
Why do I post after 6pm PST? Because people don’t stop saying stupid things after the evening news on the East Coast.
Topics
9/3/10 - It was the third of September...
9/2/10 - 3 heavyweights on keys
8/16/10 - You don't get to vote on this.
8/13/10 - A freakout is coming
8/12/10 - The Gulf and Mother Jones
8/11/10 - Ooh, I got bitch-slapped!
8/4/10 - Poor people should hate Republicans
8/3/10 - Politics and Baseball
7/16/10 - Just how screwed are we in the Gulf?
7/15/10 - They assume we can't do math
7/8/10 - My own past is relevant!
6/30/10 - Carl Sagan didn't count high enough
6/21/10 - The loss of a better man
6/18/10 - Probably going to see a kid's movie
6/17/10 - The return of Debtors' Prisons
6/14/10 - Pop-culture references in other languages
6/7/10 - Helen Thomas screws up, takes the hit
6/3/10 - Not doing this tomorrow
6/2/10 - Who are all you people?
5/17/10 - I'm a pissed off Lakers fan
5/13/10 - All the man wanted was some hot wings
5/12/10 - Go play with yourself
5/10/10 - Theoretical Lesbians
5/7/10 - I don't think they used macaroni and cheese dust
4/29/10 - Praying for a better sense of humor
4/23/10 - No, he's not a panda
4/21/10 - Scenes from Funniest Home Videos
4/19/10 - McVeigh didn't have long hair
4/15/10 - someone else does the heavy lifting
4/14/10 - I owe my soul to the company store
4/9/10 - Searching for a Mr. George Richard
4/5/10 - How's that Mavericky thing workin' out for ya?
4/2/10 - reading the backlog could poison you.
3/1/10 - Glenn, this is an intervention
2/26/10 - Somewhere down the Crazy River...
2/11/10 - no need to repeat myself
1/29/10 - an open letter to the supporters of a murderer
1/13/10 - Pat Robertson is going to hell
1/4/10 - two days past Palindrome Day
12/30/09 - probably the last post of 2009
12/28/09 - Yeah, I called him a Nazi. I'm not going to apologize.
12/14/09 - the rear ends of airborne rodentia
12/9/09 - Don't even want to imagine the taste
12/7/09 - Room 12, down the hall on the left
12/4/09 - They make you feel dirty...
12/3/09 - Infrastructure is sexy!
11/30/09 - How to get rid of your mortgage and guilt
11/24/09 - Strider's forgotten quest
11/9/09 - It takes a Sinner to hate...
10/9/09 - Didn't see that one coming
10/7/09 - Complete cheap Shots
10/2/09 - Follow Hope & Crosby
9/30/09 - I filed a complaint with the FCC
9/24/09 - Eric Cantor is a fucktard
9/18/09 -I am your liberal Czarrrrrrrr
8/24/09 - Hide the white wimmin' it's a biggun'!
8/20/09 - Declaring war on Canada
8/18/09 - You can Tuna Piano...
8/14/09 - That great Socialist
8/12/09 - I have an observation...
8/10/09 - Socialized Medicine gave us Stephen Hawking
8/7/09 - Manson with a TV show
8/3/09 - Die you ignorant jackasses, die.
7/24/09 - Yeah, Canada is better
7/22/09 - There is no reason for them to exist
7/10/09 - Required Reading/viewing
7/2/09 - Calling Bruce Campbell
7/1/09 - 120 seconds of terror...
6/30/09 - In space, no one can hear your head explode messily
6/24/09 - The Girl from Ipanema
6/23/09 - Where's Waldo? South Carolina Edition
6/12/09 - a question for the NRA
6/9/09 - Arrest those terrorists!
6/1/09 - The Devil made me do it
5/29/09 - Torturous possibilities
4/28/09 - Boy, take one little vacation...
3/31/09 - Willie and the Poorboys
3/20/09 - Special Olympics Cheap Shots
3/19/09 - Green Government (shhh!)
3/13/09 - So Loud you aren't thinking
3/11/09 - Yes, I do find it funny
2/20/09 - Grover Norquist needs to have his mouth taped shut
2/18/09 - Liars and fucking liars
2/12/09 - I was ambushed by Bill ORLY
1/28/09 - Carter goes to China
1/27/09 - Getting back into the swing of things...
1/22/09 - 48 hours to erase 8 years...
1/15/09 - I'll be back soon...
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9/3/10 - I love the smell of barbeque sauce in the morning…
In preparation for the long weekend and hunkering down in my studio to create mixes (I won't be posting again until the 8th) I'm just giving you the cheap shots today.
Cheap Shots (get yer drinks ready):
You probably knew this already, but Newt Gingrich is a fucking idiot.
Instead, we should federalize these fuckers.
So she only showed up so that she could collect welfare?
Is it just me or does the Tony Blair of today resemble nothing so much as a villain on Doctor Who?
No you fucking idiots, education has gotten worse because we've spent less money on it every year - which means the government is less involved, not more. You'd know this if you had basic math skills.
To the people sending this woman hate mail, I hope you die because her EMT son was killed on 9/11 trying to save people and therefore isn't available to save your bigoted hateful asses.
Hey, look at what France is doing! If we drop a war for a year we could do the same thing and virtually end unemployment in the U.S. Infrastructure matters people.
Woozy yet? Well, St. Glenn-of-a-sissy admits that he's a fucking liar.
Christchurch, New Zealand, took a beating this morning. As a fellow major earthquake survivor, I wish them the best.
I know, it's only monopoly but I like it.
Now who has lost touch, exactly?
To the people who want the Governor and Attorney General of California to do the opposite of exercising State's Rights, the appellate court says up yours.
And because I love you, the greatest Temptations song EVAR!
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9/2/10 - Like a broken record…
I will give the maximum allowable donation for a single person to give to the first Democratic candidate who says in a debate, in response to some jack-assed position taken by their opponent, the following phrase:
"Well you think that because you're an idiot." Feel free to insert the work "fucking" before the word "idiot".
My money is safe and I couldn't afford it anyway, but it would be a sure fire way of energizing a base that truly desperately needs it.
I have been saying for months now that the people who think the Republicants are going to take back either house are smoking too much weed. These people who are becoming the standard-bearers for the party of no are fucking nuts, and as a general rule people don't want fucking nuts in positions of great power. But that said, I really want the Democrats to punch back, and punch back hard. I expect them to start in just a few days.
Once upon a time the real campaigning began after Labor day. Not so much these days, and I don't think the Democrats have fully grasped this. But as labor day is nearly upon is, my hope is that they come out swinging starting this next week. After all, there are so many targets to hit that this should be easy.
Cheap shots:
From the Department of Justice to the racist sheriff of southern Arizona - show us your papers.
Note to Glenn Beck - we have to re-educate them because the policies that you espouse are turning out a generation of people who can't think. You tell people what to think. We want them to just think.
Besides, it's clear that you can't be trusted.
However, if this man steps up as part of this draft movement, I will applaud.
And on another note, it's has just been discovered that rock and roll was invented by a southern gospel nun in the 1940s, playing distorted guitar a 20 years before anyone else. Awesome performance.
Here's hoping we dodged a bullet with this one. I'm guessing probably not but I'd be happy to be wrong. Remember, we didn't find out about the oil volcano from the last one until several days after.
Holy crap, you would think that someone in this position would be better at just giving an opening statement. Maybe those headless bodies she was referring to included her own.
Betty Bowers explains Biblical Marriage. I laughed and laughed.
And because I love you, Duke Ellington, Billy Taylor and Willie "The Lion" Smith.
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Sorry I've been absent - my day life has kept me busy these past few days. and usually I still wouldn't do this on a Tuesday, especially with Obama making a major speech tonight. However…
Just in perusing the news stories of today alone I have a question. Ahem…
To the governor of Nebraska - for threatening teachers over health care, to Focus on the Family - for saying that anti-bullying efforts are part of the gay agenda, to the bigot who just opened a "ground zero church" who openly says that Mormons are devil-spawn, the people telling John Bolton to run for President, to all the people who think that Obama is a Muslim and wants to impose Shiria law, to Michelle Bachman's math skills (60,000 = 1.6 Million? Seriously?), to any jackass who thinks that cutting taxes for the rich is a good idea, to Lawrence O'Donnell for believing he can do what Keith Olberman does, to Alan Simpson for thinking Social Security has anything to do with any deficit and for shitting on veterans, to the judge who halted stem-cell research over questionable ideology, to the Koch brothers for funding every crazy son of a bitch and tin foil hat extremist on Faux news, to Faux news themselves for condemning the money trail of the community center they don't like in New York without pointing out that it leads right back to them, to Brian Killmeade for saying that because we can't come up with a convenient way to try the people in Guantanamo that we should just kill them instead, to those of you who think that Glenn Beck's crime is that he's Mormon instead of that he's a coke-snorting fascist disguised as a populist, to Cliff Kinkaid for saying that Obama is a Muslim if he can't produce a baptism certificate (do those even exist?), to Ryanair (a British airline) for kicking a girl and her mother off of a flight because they didn't buy a separate seat for her violin, to Salon.com for accepting ads praising Meg Whitman while condemning her as a candidate, to Linda McMahon for her employee practices, to the inventor of the taser, to Bill Kristol for even opening his mouth, to the EPA for directing a company that apparently hired illegal aliens to work on the gulf oil spill cleanup and paid them sub-standard wages for wage-slave hours to conduct an investigation on themselves instead of doing their freakin' jobs and sending EPA inspectors to live in their shorts, to John Boehner for claiming that spending cuts create jobs, to the "church leader" who plans to burn copies of the Koran on the anniversary of 9/11 - apparently because he's not allowed to burn crosses anymore, to Robert Barro of the Wall Street Journal for saying that the Bush tax cuts for the rich was effective (yeah, look at the unemployment rate it caused)…
Just what the ever-lovin' FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!!!????!!!?!!
And because I love you, well, nothing - because youtube is freaking out today, so I'll send you to the Daegu Bodypainting Festival.
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8/25/10 - No, I'm not hung-over.
Yes, it was a good anniversary weekend. Mai Tais galore.
Of course you knew the whole madness about a mosque/prayer room/cultural center/basketball court was going to turn violent. It nearly did the other day when a black man, a construction worker at the new building going up at "ground zero", was pronounced instantly guilty of the sin of wearing the wrong kind of hat and therefore Muslim by association. That man was lucky. Last night, a cab driver in New York City wasn't. He was stabbed by a drunken waste of ovum and sperm who asked him if he was Muslim before going all stabby on him.
Hate crime - pure and simple. I don't give a fuck about how drunk he was. No excuse for this behavior. Throw his ass in jail for as long as is necessary. Given that Al-Qaeda also opposes the mosque/cultural center/9-11 memorial/prayer room/swimming pool perhaps we should find out if the accused assailant is an Al-Qaeda operative. Of course, given who the attacker is Glenn Beck is probably going to say that it's liberalism's fault.
We don't vote on someone else's religion in this country. EVER. There are ZERO EXCEPTIONS to this. To do so is un-American, and opposition to the center gives the people we really do have a problem with fuel for their fires - they can show proof that we're as intolerant as they claim we are. We have become their best recruiting tool. By the principles of our founding fathers it's nearly traitorous.
And speaking of the founding fathers, there's a movement gaining ground about how the founding fathers were actually setting up a Christian nation, or at least one that kowtows to religion. Let me clear about what they're saying - they're full of shit. They're lying. They're lying through their teeth. It's about what they want, and not what the country needs. It's treason and they should be strung up.
Except that one of the people who they're trying to repaint as the founder of a Christian nation, Thomas Jefferson, once said that you can't string up a person for having stupid opinions, or for lying.
I've said before in an oft-quoted piece that the worst form of racism is the kind where the person being racist isn't even aware that they're doing it - that the racism has become so ingrained that they believe that the things they spew are what the real world is supposed to be, instead of extremist. It takes a lot of time and effort, as well as fear, to make something like that happen and we've been living with it in this country since the Reagan error, when he decided that in order to become President he needed to pit the fears of the old South against the rest of the country - taking Nixon's base ramblings and making them reality. (I put the blame on Reagan instead of Nixon because although it was Nixon's strategy, he really didn't need it to win the Presidency).
Maybe you people who are screaming about "not on hallowed ground" or "not in my back yard" or "not in my town" don’t realize that you're being racist. Maybe you don't realize that you are being exactly the thing that the people you fear actually fear about you. I actually heard a man say on a newscast on the BBC last night, "Why should they fear me? I'm as Christian as anyone." Well, you just signed up for team stupid, because that is the reason they fear you.
But if you know what you're doing and say the words anyway? Like Newt Gingrich, many Republicants, a woman with bad vocabulary skills and odd facial tics who can't hold a job, hosts of Faux News and so on, you're on team evil. Burn in hell motherfuckers.
Cheap Shots:
Speaking of racism, Jon Stewart hits a home run.
Somebody tell Glenn Beck that the cocaine abuse is really getting noticeable.
I dare anyone to make a Wonderbra ™ joke out of this.
This is why Faux's front-row seat in the White House press room should be revoked.
This place (#5 on the list) already has a name. Bushville, CA. It's just outside of Sacramento.
Maybe this is the reason Yellow Cab was 40 minutes late picking the wifey and I up for dinner last Friday. Oh wait, Chicago…
My city was gone. Okay, not my own city, but those of many others.
The original Kermit (and a few friends) has a new home.
I agree with the Senator from Orange Skin about one thing. Geithner should go. Replace him with this man.
Dudes, Glenn Beck is an educator like Adolf Hitler was a Jew. It's like you're trying to get dumber. If that's your goal, alcohol abuse is a more satisfying path.
This reminds me of a classic exchange in the movie "A Fish Called Wanda". Ahem. "Apes don't read Nietzsche." "Yes they do, they just don't understand it!"
And as Jon Stewart point out so well, if you want to stop funding terrorism, you need to stop watching Faux.
And because I love you, The Pretenders.
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Because I'm going to take a long weekend, I'm being lazy today and am going to link you to the work of blackwaterdog. He's a better blogger than me and I'm not afraid to say it. I'm a snarky jackass and he's more reverent and does actual work. We all have our niches to fill.
Cheap Shots (don't drink alone this weekend):
By the logic of the people who love and distort the 2nd amendment so much, Franken now gets to shoot back. Maybe at Dick Armey.
The Ground Zero strippers weigh in.
Maybe, just maybe, Israel isn't acting in our best interests. We have a blind spot towards this nation and we need to get rid of it.
I've never liked your show Dr. Laura, and have complained to my wife the few times she has watched some of the fake-feminism self-help crap you dribble out. But you're full of shit and you deserve this.
If this surprises you, then you’re a fucking idiot.
Ernest Borgnine. About damned time.
Naa na na na naa no more.
If you're going to photoshop something of this importance, hire a professional.
Orly Taitz is a crazy person and probably has about 50 cats in her home. She gets more press than she deserves. As of today, this site is an Orly Taitz Free Zone.
kos once again has the right point about the Brown Skins.
No update tomorrow. The wifey and I are going to celebrating 18 years of legally sanctioned shacking up.
And because I love you, Chris Isaak, playing our song - first heard in the movie "Wild at Heart".
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8/18/10 - Blown gaskets leak oil
Every time I see that BP commercial about teams of airplanes and boats searching the surface of the gulf, looking for the little bits of oil left behind, I nearly blow a gasket. It's such a bald-faced lie that I'm amazed that the BP employee they've paid to say these things can show his face in public. He lives in the region, somewhere, and to say such things to his neighbors ranks with the worst thing politicians ever say.
I actually believe BP is doing the things they say they're doing. They say they're searching the surface for more oil. But that's not where the oil actually is. It's misdirection at best a fraud at its filthiest at it's more probably worst, because the oil is still there, killing wildlife and ruining the coastal economy for decades to come.
These people should be thrown in jail, and in a civilized country with proper protections, they would be. If this spill had happened in the Mediterranean there would have been rioting, people arrested, and probably trials at The Hague. Instead, the awareness of the problem is going the way of the rebuild efforts of Haiti - somewhere between "is that still a problem" and "who cares".
Pathetic. The worst is yet to come, and BP is lying about it. It makes me fucking sick. I fear that my beloved New Orleans is gone forever.
Cheap Shots:
The quote says it best: "Really, for a guy that could lay claim to a decent legacy in the Senate, he sure is going out as an asshole."
90 years have given us some great women in politics. And in fairness, some lousy ones too, but it's not like we men could hoard that commodity.
The whole gay marriage issue in California (and perhaps the entire country) may have been decided on a technicality by the U.S. Supreme Court 13 years ago.
I can't decide if this campaign sign is epic fail or epic win, given who the candidate is.
It takes a special brand of idiocy to turn a potential story of high school football inspiration into half-assed political mush.
kos is right - where do they find these guys?
And because I love you, my old nemesis Michael Penn.
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8/16/10 - We don't put religion up for a vote in this country. Not ever. Fuck you all for implying that we should.
We should ban all building of churches in black neighborhoods. We all know that these southern churches are breeding grounds for the Klan.
To all you fucking idiots who complain about the "Ground Zero Mosque", go fuck yourselves with a rusty bayonet. You have no fucking clue what it means to be an American. You can't see that the argument that you're making is the same one I just made. It's moronic and you're making our children stupider for saying so, and for that alone you should be kicked out of the club.
I don't love you today.
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Ramadan ends on 9/11. The freakout begins in 5… 4… 3… 2…
Cheap Shots (you know the rules by now):
I don't run for Congress myself because I have a temper (and I swear a lot). Didn't stop this fucking idiot though.
I think that it's pretty obvious that the Republican strategy in the Senate in regards to nominations can be summed up this way, "We're shitting on your agenda."
Everybody talks about how Harry Reid is the luckiest incumbent running for re-election. Nope. Jim DeMint is. He'd have to kill a hooker, fund the building of a mosque and snort cocaine on the Senate floor and he still wouldn't lose to this moron.
Of course, his opponent hasn't used Chile as a role model yet, so who knows?
These are some truly amazing photos.
The great thing this man does, repeatedly, is point out that it's not welfare but in fact payback on insurance that was deducted from his own paycheck. Bravo, sir, bravo.
And I'm sure that President Alan Keyes agrees with you.
You know, I suspect that there's something in this man's water. Possibly gin.
If there was ever a reason not to fuck with Social Security, this is it.
McCain appears to be done on both sides now.
And because I love you, Jean-Luc Ponty.
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8/12/10 - MJ does the heavy lifting
Today I will refer you simply to this article in Mother Jones, which does the heavy lifting to back up my claim that the real work on cleanup in the Gulf hasn't even begun yet, and that the effects will be felt for decades, if we live that long.
Cheap Shots:
Dude, by your logic, every church is a recruiting station for the Ku Klux Klan. Fuck off already.
So the stay has been lifted effective next Wednesday. Pending the dubious appeal to come. Of course the opponents realize they don't have a leg to stand on.
More proof that Glenn Beck is on coke.
But it might be that those voices of reason we've been seeing on the right about the 14th Amendment are actually even crazier.
Maybe the idea is to drown the Taliban.
David Stockman makes sense? What is the world coming to?
Okay you stupid bitch, can the Okefenokee tribe lock up you? After all, you're an anchor baby to them.
It's nice that the majority of Americans now agree that same-sex marriage is fine, but did it have to come with this graph?
Unfortunately, there are people who don't realize that The Onion is satire.
Your dog wants another plan.
And because I love you, Queen.
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8/11/10 - Left of Professional Left
I guess I'm part of the "professional left" that got bitch-slapped by Press Secretary Robert Gibbs the other day. Unlike the rest of the people who have been outraged by this, I couldn't care less. Politics is a full contact sport, and Gibbs is pretty good at it, all things considered. He's bitch-slapped the "professional right" a whole bunch of times, so what should I care about a single punch thrown in the other direction?
Do we wish that the Obama administration would grow a pair? Hell yes. Is it better than the alternative? Hell yes.
Gibbs has been defending the White House for this entire administration from bigots, racists, people who hate just for the sake of hating, and irrationality that borders upon the insane. So when we criticize them too I think it's only fair that he can respond in exactly the way he did.
I've seen a few people call for Gibbs' resignation. That's moronic. The man has done a good job, and he has to put up with people far stupider than us - hell, Faux News just got a front row seat - that would make anyone testy. But the man is witty, quick on his feet, and has a solid sense of humor in a job that is more difficult that you could possibly imagine. In my opinion, he's done a good job and the occasional barb at us in the "professional left" is just fine - he's only returning the volley we threw in the first place.
If you really want to complain about how this administration hasn't done enough, then how about throwing shots at the people who direct policy and not just their mouthpiece?
Cheap Shots:
I think he's going to run for Mayor of New York City next time around.
Again, Jon Stewart nails it.
Rand Paul gets an unexpected yet key endorsement.
In all of the talk about the last few years of former Senator Ted Stevens' life and untimely death, you have to admit, whether you like him or think he was a crook, his life was pretty damned amazing.
4 years in prison can make anyone wish for prison reform. Even this guy.
And because I love you, Nymphs.
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I have said for years now that cutting money from education is about as stupid as stupid gets. It results in our children in being brought up to either think stupid things or not think at all. And maybe that's what the people who hold the budget strings really want, but it's a fucking crime. You want proof?
The man who runs Conservapedia (itself not a shining beacon of educational awareness) today proclaimed that the Theory of Relativity is a liberal plot. See his "logic" here. E=mc2 is the plot of the liberals to undermine faith.
Um, wha…..?
Fucking moron. The fact that he's given space to espouse upon his views shows that there are people who take this bullshit seriously, instead of laughing in his face like the guy on the excercycle in the light beer commercials. He's a fucking idiot, and it used to be that we put funny costumes on these people and ignored them for the remainder of their days, or paid them to be laughed at.
We don't do that anymore, and that's just wrong. We take the time to debate the issue, no matter how silly, instead of looking this loon in the face and asking, "what the fuck have you been smoking?"
There is no debating stupidity. The way you get rid of stupidity is like hitting the cockroaches with raid - mock it, ridicule it, and beat it into submission until it is too ashamed to raise its head again. It's why I do what I do here, and why there doesn't seem to be any cause for me to stop. I'm not a politician and probably will be, and until someone who is actually takes a stand people like me need to keep smacking the idiots with nerf baseball bats.
And so I will.
Cheap Shots:
Once a jackass, always a jackass - Rand Paul edition.
Google just cut off Mace Windu's hand.
And because I love you, Little River Band
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I want to debate a Tea Partier.
You read that right, I want to get into it one-on-one with a person that I consider an idiot. Yeah, arguing with idiots is fairly futile, but lately I've been putting together arguments in my mind that should make sense to them. I know that it won't, but it should.
The other day I talked about why Teabaggers should hate Republicans on the issue of taxes alone. Well, how about everything else? They scream about how they don't trust the government. How they don't want "Obamacare" taking away their freedom to get whatever healthcare they can get. They talk about freedom one hell of a lot.
So let me ask them this; why do you want a government that you distrust so handily to have anything at all to do with the immortal souls of your children? If you're so concerned about what the government is actually capable of doing right - which seems to be nothing - why would you want to close the gap between church and state? If the government fucks up everything else, won't the fuck up religion too?
If you add religion to government, aren't you condemning your children to hell?
Wouldn't that be a fun debate?
Cheap Shots (get your drink on):
All this talk about not allowing construction of a Mosque? It's actually about destroying one that's already there. All they want is a new building.
Query: Are they fucking the farmers because they're black?
Jerry picks a side, and it's the right one - as expected.
I think your definition of "fun" needs a re-think.
And while we're at it: http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2962884470106221339NqezbS
And because I love you, Suzanne Vega.
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8/5/10 - A quote is all I need
I promised a commentary when the prop 8 ruling came down. That said, I don't think I can do better than this quote:
That the majority of California voters supported Proposition 8 is irrelevant, as 'fundamental rights may not be submitted to [a] vote; they depend on the outcome of no elections.'"
And who said that? Judge Vaughn Walker, in his ruling.
Cheap Shots:
If this web page is loading slow, blame Google.
Yesterday I gave the son of Dan Quayle grief over a campaign ad. Turns out I was wrong, and obnoxiously so. Mr. Quayle, I apologize. But I wouldn't vote for you.
Protecting the sanctity to marry your teen-aged pregnant first cousin.
"Why, some of my best friends are…" I rarely use this word, if for no other reason than that women are better at its usage than I am, but what a bitch.
Some Teabaggers should be thrown in jail. Starting with Jeff Cucci.
This is going to get complicated.
In celebration of the fact that there's no crisis, I give you The Who.
So let me see if I've got this straight. Rand Paul got his Doctorate without graduating college? What the fuck?
And because I love you, Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa playing Frank Zappa.
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8/4/10 - Why poor people should hate Republicans
Something clicked in my head the other day and I want to share it with you. Poor people should hate Republicans. They often don't, reflecting a lack of education, or a willingness to be whipped into a lather over ideas of patriotism and freedom and other things - all of which is fine - but they're being raped by the Republican party intellectually and aren't even aware of it. Tea Partiers should hate the Republican party. Anyone who doesn't make over $250K should hate them.
Allow me to explain by assuming that they're actually right about their number one philosophy - that lower taxes grows the economy and can be revenue neutral for the government. They're not right, but let's assume for a moment that they are.
The basic concept is this: give tax breaks to the wealthy. They in turn invest in their businesses, which leads to higher employment. This spurs the economy and because more people are working, the tax revenue increases. If you take out things like corporate greed, hoarding, fraud, and all of the other commandments these people seem to break with regularity and replace them with altruism, all of this could even be true.
However…
Under this system, who is paying the taxes that make everything revenue neutral for the government? Who is paying the taxes on the expanding economy? Here's a hint: it's not the rich. Under the very scenario that Republicans tout as the very centerpiece of their entire existence is the inescapable fact that if you cut taxes for the rich, even if the economy grows, the poor pay MORE in taxes than they did before.
It's the same reason that a national sales tax is so fucking stupid - as a percentage of their income people with less money spend more of the money that they have. As a result, the burden of taxes as compared to income grows for poor people when rich people are given these breaks. You know how rich people stay rich? They don't spend their money. You know how poor people stay poor? They don't have enough money to save.
That's why I call what Republicans call "freedom" intellectual rape. They're lying to you all the while claiming that it's for your own good. Yes, it can create jobs and yes it can grow businesses, but it hurts the country and places a greater burden on those who can't afford it while taking the burden away from those who can.
I'm not rich. Not even close. But if I were I wouldn't bitch about tax rates. I wouldn't enjoy paying the taxes much but I think it's only fair to contribute back to the same country that helped make me rich in the first place. To me, it's a form of patriotism.
Cheap Shots:
Oh, about repealing the 14th amendment? Cue Jon Stewart.
Oh, and while we're at it, let's here the viewpoint of the people who were here before the "White Plague" showed up.
Oh, and one more thing. When Alan Keyes is the voice of reason in your political party you just might be a redneck.
Oh, still one more thing - in overturning Proposition 8 today in California, the Federal Judge cited the 14th Amendment as his reason (page 117). Oh, that will add fire to the fuel.
Oh, and one last thing. If the Republicans want to roll back the clock to 1868 can we get back the Republican Party of 1868?
If Sharon Angle keeps upping the crazy every time she opens her mouth she won't be speaking in coherent sentences by election day.
Oh, and some love for Stephen Colbert as well.
Goddamnit I want my bicycle!
Expanding on a thought from yesterday - didn't we used to arrest people who called for the murder of people?
I really don't like Christmas music very much. But then there's this…
Dan Quayle's son is renting children as props.
A republican learns some lingo.
And because I love you, Rubinoos.
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8/3/10 - A rare Tuesday update with baseball analogies…
And why? Because New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg - a man I do NOT respect - hit a solid home run today with a speech that lets me say with some pride that while we do not agree on much politically, he is a true American.
Harry Reid hit a triple.
Jesus' General hit a ground-rule double.
Rick Sanchez hits a single.
Tom Shales hit a pop fly.
Yertle the Turtle tries a bunt and instead hits into a double play.
And Sharon Angle, with a runner at first and another at second, hits to second (one out), who throws to first (two outs) and then trips 10 feet away from home plate and is tagged out for a triple-play.
Congressman Mike Rogers is ruled ineligible to play.
And finally, This has to be seen to be believed.
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8/2/10 - more stuff for bettering… of.. stuff
Cheap Shots:
This is just fucking criminal.
Did you know that Lisa Simpson and Chelsea Clinton got married on the same weekend? Just, wow.
You know that it's all fucked up when prison is better than normal healthcare. But the article I just linked to points out something else very valid - access/transportation/housing is just as important.
Married life seems to have done something to Alan Greenspan. Or maybe hell froze over.
In case you missed it on Friday, Ben Nelson is an obnoxious toad.
Hell, I had a spare dollar…
The Iraq war accountability, in a simple pie chart.
And because I love you, Spacehog.
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There are a couple of e-mails going around, designed to make it look like some of the media establishment has turned on President Obama. They contain jokes by Conan, Leno, Letterman, et al, that they have supposedly told as cheap shots and quick laughs on the President. They're lies. These jokes have not been told by these men. Some of them are old Clinton jokes, but most are old hackery jokes told by Republican politicians at fundraisers.
Another e-mail details a supposed plot to take away a business from a man and distribute it to his employees under the guise that because most of his employees are black the business in minority run, so why not make it minority owned and give it to the workers. This one is also a lie. Following in the steps of shitbag Breitbart, they're just making this stuff up now in an attempt to scare people.
It's called "Ratfucking" and has been around since before Nixon. You spread lies and misinformation, something that gets easier and easier to do every day, and repeat it often enough so that it seems like the truth. Say that someone else - a person "who is in a position to know" or is someone who is part of the national trusted dialogue - said something to make it sound real. If someone says, "I heard that Jon Stewart said…" it gives more of a ring of truth than saying the exact same thing starting with, "A buddy of mine said…"
Try it. Here's one:
A friend of mine who works for the government tells me to get out of Apple stock, because the government is about to come down hard on them. Now take that statement as opposed to: I hear rumors that Apple is about to get hit pretty hard by the government.
Which statement seemed more true? The first one. Thing is, they're both lies.
So what's the lesson here? Be skeptical of everything, and if you want to know the truth, verify it from the source these bastards are quoting - it's not hard to do these days. Act like reporters used to.
And remember, Ratfucking isn't pleasant - look at what it's called.
Cheap Shots (get your drink on!):
SCALEBACK?!!?!!?!?!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MINDS?!?!!?!!?!!?
Why is it that each State Republican Platform has to be one step crazier than the prior one?
Someone needs to take Glenn Beck's cocaine away from him - it's making him deranged - because he believes that Homer Simpson is a conspiracy of a radical activist group from the 1960s. Check into fucking rehab, dude.
Atrios raises a valid point.
Boy does Congress need more of this. And he did it without swearing - credit where credit is due.
Okay, so they've gone from confusing reality with an episode of Criminal Minds to confusing reality with a truly fucked up episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. I hope they've been practicing their roundhouse kicks of death!
But I swear, Ran Paul is a fucking idiot. Expanding on yesterday's cheap shot.
The magic starts at about 1:15. Ah, Dr. Phil and spanking Bush. (you can take a drink if you're dirty-minded enough to have leaped in the wrong direction)
I had no idea that Jane Leaves was a Benny Hill girl.
Toot yer own horn there Mr. President!
And because I love you, KISS - with a song that believe it or don't I had never heard before today.
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7/29/10 - Paying homage to a Mosque yet unbuilt.
There's been a lot of talk amongst the right wing political class about how they don't want a mosque built near ground zero in New York City. I'm going to call them all out right now, saying that they're insensitive dipshits who are ignoring an important point in their racism, down to the point that I think it's fair to call them unpatriotic. Yes, I'm calling them racists. They are using fear to hype their own agenda, and saying that a class of people don't have the right to build a house of worship.
Racism. Bigotry. There is simply no better term for it. Newt, Ms. Half-term, Mr. "Islam-is-a-cult", Rep. King, Ms. Zelenik, Mr. Paladino, Mayor 9/11, inmate 84888-054 - you're all racists. I'm calling you out on it and would be happy to debate you on it. You want them to be considered lesser citizens, without the right to build a house of worship.
Funny how separation of church and state seems to matter only when it's not your own faith...
What you are all glossing over is the fact that Muslims were murdered on 9/11. It wasn't just Christians, Jews, or even just New Yorkers killed that day at ground zero. It wasn't just Americans murdered that day. It happened on our soil, but this was a wound to the world as a whole including Muslims. Peaceful people who practice the faith of Allah died when terrorists crashed those airplanes into them.
And don't you fucking dare say that the terrorists were Muslims. That's the stupidest thing of all, and you all do it. That's like referring to members of the Ku Klux Klan as Christians. It's technically true, sort of, but it's a vile corruption of faith and no one who understands the basics of their own faith wants anything to do with them. It's better to separate the Klan away from the Christians, and the terrorists of that day away from the Muslims - because neither belong nor are welcome by people with their sanity still intact.
So I guess I'm questioning your sanity too…
A large number of people died that day. Just doing basic statistical sampling tells us that Muslims were among the murdered. You are insulting the memories and families of those people by telling them that a place of worship for them is not welcome at the place where they gave their lives.
Welcome everyone, or welcome no one. Treat everyone the same, or you're no better than the Klan. It's un-American and you should be ashamed of yourselves. The fact that you're not proves that you're dipshits. If you can't reconcile treating everyone the same, then shut the fuck up. We have no use for you.
This was cross-posted at Daily Kos.
Cheap Shots:
Bankrupt the motherfucker there girlfriend. You have my full support.
If you still don't think that the Tea Party movement is full of racists after seeing this, then you're a fucking idiot and shouldn't have the right to vote.
An interesting point is made in this dissection of the President's appearance on "The View". The hosts of "The View" represent a more diverse line-up and match-up of what America is actually like than any other daytime talk show, or any "serious" news show on television. And that's worth paying attention to.
There is no Social Security crisis. Anyone who says so is a lying motherfucker, and you can tell them I said so.
Rush Limbaugh is a child molester.
Apparently the only requirement to be a Republican anymore is simply to be a dick, even on an issue you support. That's right, they're blocking a tax cut.
Somebody please smack Rand Paul over the head with an Ansell Adams print.
Wow. It's rare that you run into someone so full of self-hate who isn't a serial killer or a politician. Oh, wait.
Did you know that there is a possibility that the Gulf Disaster is being repeated in the Great Lakes?
And keep in mind that the Gulf disaster is actually two separate disasters in one.
Hey Joe, most Americans are nothing like you - they aren't rich former congressmen with TV shows.
The HMS Investigator has been found. For someone like me who loves these old naval stories, this is really cool. Now if they can only find the two ships the Investigator was sent to find, the Erebus and the Terror.
Has anyone ever been more blatant about selling his soul to interest groups than John Boehner? Except maybe this guy.
We now know why Guillermo del Toro walked away from The Hobbit after working on it for nearly 2 years. It was to do this. Hell yes!
William Shatner gets one of the D.C Beltway Snipers to confess to another murder? WTF?
Think you know the companions? Here are 10 of them, rated by relative hotness by some dude whose tastes are similar, but not the same, as my own.
The Contract ON America. There are no lies in this document.
Subprime Campaign Financing. Harry Reid is one seriously lucky sonnbitch.
Cartoonist Berkely Breathed once referred to this woman as the leader of "W.O.W." - Women against Women. That was in 1983. History repeats.
Actually, I don't think the swearing was the problem, asshole. And my apologies for linking to the right-wing Wall Street Journal.
Whether you believe drugs should be legalized or not (I'm mostly in the "not" column) this is well worth reading.
Anne evolves. Maybe we'll see another vampire book now, with vampires we actually want to read about.
Helen Thomas' seat in the press room at the White House is still up for grabs. Here's what you can do to help that it not fall into the wrong hands.
And because I love you, Naturally 7, taking a capella to new heights.
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7/28/10 - what to write about today
Tucker Carlson, a man I do not respect, is making a big deal about how left-leaning bloggers have destroyed journalism by talking to each other. The whole breakdown is here and people keep making a story out of this little fuck-bubble by talking about the things that Tucker is complaining about. But they've all missed a valid point - journalism does indeed suck; it just has nothing to do with left or right.
Sometime during the past 30 years it was decided that the part of a newspaper that makes money and the part of the newspaper that does reporting are parts of the same function. Rupert Murdoch made fucking tons of money using this principle, and everyone else followed suit. There are almost no exceptions, Ben Bradlee be damned.
First there was "spin", which showed up during the Reagan error - basically translated into the phrase, "what he meant when he said X was in fact Y…" This was shortly followed by the demand to be first with your story, because news had evolved into a 24-hou operation. Then came "access" reporting - where certain reporters were favored in exchange for having a similar viewpoint. This evolved into the idea that if you have a similar viewpoint as the subject your investigating, then anything they tell you must agree with your own viewpoint and therefore must be the truth.
Then came "feeding" the news. Information being doled out by "reliable" sources - who became "reliable" because of "accesses" - and accepted as fact instead of spin. Journalism had evolved into regurgitation and not investigation, and THAT is the real problem.
Look journalists, if you want your industry to survive, get off your lazy asses and be sure about the information you're given. Investigate. Otherwise you're as full of shit as Tucker Carlson.
And you're the reason Jon Stewart has a job.
Cheap Shots:
Papers please postponed! (partially)
Apparently Target wants the ability to veto federal laws.
<<sniff>> 'bout time!
Wow. Telling people that the plot to an episodes of Criminal Minds is real kills tourism!
And because I love you, Electric Light Orchestra
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7/26/10 - You're in the small blind.
Hey BP. where's the fucking money?
Cheap Shots:
Jeffrey Lord, you're a dick.
Nebraska is apparently being overrun by the red menace.
Um, how does one "over-repent"?
The man who actually said the phrase, "How do you ask someone to be the last to die for a mistake" Thinks we need a serious discussion on Afghanistan.
So, a church in Florida decides to protest all Muslims by confusing them with the Klan arm of their religion, by acting like the Klan.
And because I love you, Al Stewart.
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I'm not going to apologize for those last two posts. No fucking way.
President Obama, I like you a lot, and the alternative is far worse, but you need to grow a pair and lead the people who work for you.
Cheap Shots:
It's almost as if they really want Harry to keep his seat.
So he admits that he's a sinner and is going to hell.
This renewal of the Gulf Disaster is brought to you by the letter B.
But even Big Oil doesn't want BP invited to the party.
Um, congresswoman crazy lady? Receptacles are things you put shit into.
And because I love you, Sweet
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7/21/10 - A quick revision about an asshole
Pardon me. My words of yesterday were edited and taken out of context. The full quote is:
I wish that someone would publish compromising photos of that would kill the reputation of Andrew Breitbart. He should be dragged thorough the mud for manufacturing a scandal and his reputation murdered. It would not surprise me to hear of him drunk and sitting in a pool of his own vomit.
In August, please donate blood.
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7/20/10 - A quick word about an asshole
I wish that someone would kill Andrew Breitbart. He should be murdered and sitting in a pool of his own blood.
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7/16/10 - Just a quick comparison
So the well is (hopefully) capped. That's good news. But I want you to consider the big picture and understand that the hard part hasn't even started yet. I did some math and am going to express the results graphically about the scope of the spill and the resources being used to clean it up. If this is the oil spill:
Then this is the size of EVERY SINGLE BOAT in the gulf working on siphoning up the oil put together (I've highlighted it in yellow - it's pretty small):
.
How can anyone honestly believe that this can be fixed?
Cheap shots (get yer drink on!):
Quick answer - yes.
Okay, this is just fucked up. A woman needs to be in charge of this policy decision.
As I have said repeatedly, no Socialist hires Timothy Geithner. And then it turns out to maybe not be true. But it was believable, wasn't it?
I can feel my arteries crying uncle already.
Is there anything more awesome than a Tracy Morgan interview?
From the oldest Senator to the Youngest - in the same seat.
The Governator takes one to the chin.
The Politics of Plunder.
And because I love you, and to oppose the Politics of Plunder, Re-Flex.
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So apparently the meme is that all of the Republic tax cuts during the Bush Error didn't do any damage to the economy. You people are fucking insane. But then again, given all of the cuts to education you've made, maybe you all assume that we can't do simple math with large numbers. Fuck you all with a broken bottle.
Even the man who said it was a good idea at the time that you all prayed to is now saying that the Bush tax cuts should be allowed to expire.
You're like 3 year-olds with matches and firecrackers.
Cheap shots:
My mom is an Emmy voter. I'm lobbying her (through this posting) for her to vote for one person in particular.
Show us the well! And then do what Ed says. Okay, they showed us the well. If this holds, we can finally stat the real work. Believe it or not, the worst is yet to come.
Finally, a filibuster broken! With results.
You are GUILTY of racism. I sentence you to watch the movie "Do the Right Thing" and then discuss it with a black man.
But to be more specific - somebody shoot this racist motherfucker. With a paintball gun filled with permanent black ink.
Glenn Beck really needs to get off the cocaine.
So it's only disgraceful when we liberals do it. So we need a new term for conservatives who do it. How about… child molesting?
To quote Justice Alioto, you lost. Get over it.
And because I love you, The Tokens.
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I have been asked by a few people why I haven't taken up the cause of the seeming over-use and outright glee as the use of Tasers by police in this country. Mostly because I'm pretty uninformed about it. Digby over at Hullabaloo writes very eloquently on the subject and seems to cover all of the bases, so there's not much I can add to the debate.
At least, that's what I thought until I started looking at some data.
The whole argument behind using tasers is that it makes everyone safer. That in using a taser to bring a suspect down instead of shooting them, suspects can be apprehended more safely. That's the argument. The problem is that a number of people have died or gotten very sick after being hit by a taser, including the nephew of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (who suddenly seemed to notice that he's a proud black man) who was thrown into a series of epileptic seizures after being hit by a taser. In Los Angeles this past week a man was convicted of manslaughter after allegedly drawing his gun when he was trying to pull out his taser instead.
Which leads me to notice something - why did he have to pull any weapon at all? It's all about the mindset - we've reached a point where we're training our law enforcement to use tasers as a method of resolving potentially violent confrontations, without acknowledging the fact that the use of a taser is an act of violence. Law enforcement is being trained to rely on tasers instead of their wits, their negotiation skills, conflict resolution skills, or simple detective work. The net result is an increase in the use of force by police.
Does this make everyone safer? No.
Violence begets violence - we all know that (or at least we should - I learned it in church when I was 6). The classification of tasers as a non-violent approach to suspect apprehension is the real problem here. There is nothing non-violent about having 50,000 volts run through you. Try it sometime. When you classify tasers as a violent approach, you will see that violent interaction between police and the citizenry of the country has increased dramatically. And because we've trained our police to rely on the taser as a method of conflict resolution we're teaching them to do their jobs in an intellectually lazy way.
We're teaching them not to think - and not thinking tends to lead to really stupid places.
Cheap Shots:
Shock! Only it's not.
Hmmm. BP is a terrorist organization, as defined by the Bush Administration.
In response to Glenn Beck's attempt to make you all stupid, I present Debunk U.
Dude, if Willie Horton hadn't been black they would have found another guy to use. You're an idiot, naïve, and racist as all hell.
VH-1 presents "Behind the Music: Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem."
I wonder if he's retiring in order to prevent Jerry Brown, who named his predecessor, to name his replacement.
And because I love you, Toto. And here's a live performance from the first tour I saw them.
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I'm not really all that big on the whole gun control movement. Yes, I'd be happier if there were fewer guns, and I don't see the point of owning an AK-47. But by the same token, I whole-heartedly approve of hunting for food. I'm not interested in taking away anyone's gun. I think that people misinterpret the 2nd amendment far too much, but the genie is out of the bottle and I don't think it's going back in.
That said…
I have a question for all of you gun nuts out there. Can illegal immigrants, legal immigrants, people in this country on work visas - basically anyone who isn't a citizen buy guns with the same impunity that you want to have for yourselves? To the people of Arizona - do you want the brown-skinned people you're so scared of to have the same access to firearms that you have?
Because that's how it has to be - the Supreme Court said so. Arizona cannot pass a law limiting non-citizens from having guns. The Supreme Court recently ruled that many local gun control ordinances are illegal and usurp the authority of the constitution. And the constitution also says that laws of our country apply equally to everyone.
So, what do you think about gun control now?
Cheap Shots:
Hey Jon Kyl! Fuck! You!
If you buy this book for your child you should be arrested for child abuse.
How about a 4-color poster?
Louisiana politics is always a bit nuts but I have to admit that I didn't see this coming.
Third rail. Discuss.
I'm seeing more that dude from "The Blind Side".
Analysis: Glenn Beck wants to bring back slavery.
Truly sad. Goodbye, Harvey.
And because I love you, The Posies. And this is pretty amazing too.
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Had some technical issues today, so here's all you get.
Cheap Shots:
A guy I wrote a song about 20 years ago has endorsed the new Supreme Court nominee.
Oh. So the whole slashing his girlfriend with a knife is understandable then. Asshole.
All Carly Fiorina supporters have the same handwriting!
Yes, those weird-assed rumors you've been seeing on the internet is true. My adopted hometown may ban pet sales. Yes, I thinks it's incredibly fucking stupid. I'll keep you posted.
Pink Elephants? Seriously? Were you drunk when you came up with it? Okay, this demands a mash-up.
Maybe the Pink Elephants are the crazy fucking women who think the half-governor is a good role model.
And because I love you, She & Him
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7/7/10 - Where is the Dutch East India Company when you really need them?
It hasn't gotten a lot of coverage yet, but BP apparently still believes in the Triangle Trade. If you remember your history that would be Molasses, Rum and Slaves. The only thing we need to swap out is Molasses for Oil. The rest still applies - if you drink your money away.
I hadn't been aware of it until yesterday, but the fishermen whose incomes have been destroyed by the oil volcano in the gulf have been press-ganged into the cleanup effort. Any fisherman who does not take part in the cleanup effort will find any settlement checks reduced by the amount they would have been paid for being part of the cleanup.
Pirates should live by the code.
Cheap Shots:
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. And shoot the abortion doctor. I think that's what Jindal really wants.
Terry Savage embodies everything wrong with the conservative movement. He's also a dick.
20 years down the drain in 140 characters or less. Again.
Can they have cake too?
Yeah, well if you weren't white you'd be that fat grandpa on the porch of the run-down house in rural Alabama with three teeth, a missing eye and a 50-word vocabulary. Or given your past predilection for drugs, DEAD.
I thought Republicans hated frivolous lawsuits.
Um, Lindsey? You got a sentence 3 times what the prosecutors were asking for. Maybe the fingernail wasn't a smart move.
And because I love you, Ringo Starr.
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Earlier this week I had a face-to-face encounter with a lunatic. He was preaching to the masses that taxation was slavery. These people absolutely disgust me but I usually ignore the ones doing this sort of street preaching. I don't like fighting against the unarmed.
But this one decided to zero in on me as I walked past, and he called me something along the lines of an ignorant-hippie-liberal. Okay, he wasn't that nice about it, but I don't actually remember the exact insult. It was enough to make me turn around though.
I'm a big guy. 6 Feet tall, well over 200 pounds. Yes, I have long hair (the wife likes it). Yes, I'm a liberal. I walk with a bit of a limp thanks to recent medical issues. In other words, I'm imposing and I'm aware of it. So me turning around to face this idiot made him pause for just a moment. But my hands never left my jacket pockets.
"Sir," I said, "did you ever serve in the military?"
"No," he replied. "And judging from appearances neither did you."
I paused for a moment, and then said, "see this limp?"
He stammered for a moment, looking for a response to my implication that my limp was caused by military involvement.
Then I laughed. "Just fucking with you. You're right, I didn't serve in the military. So paying taxes is the only way I'm ever going to pay any sort of price for my country. That means that taxes are patriotism. Are you trying to claim that you're not a patriot?" I then walked away, leaving him speechless.
I have to admit, I love that.
These people who claim that taxes are unfair or against our way of life are idiots of the greatest proportion. Most of us will never serve in the military, so this is the only way we've got to support our country. Yes, we might not like it - we might bitch about it - but that's okay. Think about it; soldiers bitch about their missions all the time, from the highest General to the lowest grunt. The word "Fubar" comes from the military - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. But they do the missions anyway - it's the job.
For the rest of us, paying taxes is part of the responsibility of being an American. Go ahead and bitch about it -that's fine. You might think that your taxes are too high, but then what are you trying to pay for? Personally, I think taxes on some people are too high - I don't think military personnel and veterans should be taxed on the first $250K on their income. And I think that taxes on some are far too low - the rich are getting away with far too much. But paying them is a form of patriotism.
Remember than when you watch your fireworks on Sunday - you may have helped pay for them.
Cheap Shots at people's patriotism, with the occasional feel-good note as well:
Glenn Beck is a coke-snorting fraud.
The chairman of the Republican Party is a troop-hating liar.
The Governor of California wants to pay all government workers in the state the same thing the guy who spits in your burger at the local burger joint makes while we don't have a budget. Hey Governator, this fixes nothing and I expect better of my government than what I earned when I was 16. This is fucking moronic, and makes you a blackmailing bully.
Um, if you're not a statistical wiz, then what the fuck are you doing as a statistician?
I'm liking Elena Kagan now. She smacked down Congress and walked away the winner.
On the flipside, the Governor of Arizona apparently believes that she lives in an episode of Criminal Minds. (SPOILER: In that episode, the bad guy was a white cop by the way, and not a Mexican).
You can almost feel sorry for John McCain - he could get taken out by a flim-flam artist.
Glenn Beck is a coke-snorting fraud who wants you to be stupid.
I'm a big supporter of the California high-speed rail, and this guy obviously isn’t. But I have to admit, the opening line of "Like many 14-year-olds, the California High-Speed Rail project has cost a lot of money and not laid one inch of rail." is pretty damned funny.
Whatever happened to the guy who once said that a President deserves to have his SCOTUS nominees? Oh yeah, he's a prick who will need to run for re-election in 2 years.
Using this logic, I suggest that the Republicans in congress make Michelle Bachman their leader. Fuck you.
Okay, all this complaining you're doing about the terrible 3-D is in The Last Airbender? This is how ALL 3-D movies look to me. Stop making movies in fucking 3-D!
You're an asshole. It's not just a theory.
Glenn Beck is a coke-snorting fraud who has already made 26% of you this stupid.
I've been slamming CNN for several years now over their lack of direction and… well… ability. Take a look at just this past year.
I'm not a fan of Larry Flynt. Yes, he's a hero in some free-speech circles, but the type of porn he publishes is too raw for my tastes. But today, he's my hero.
So Rand Paul wants to electrocute people yearning to be free.
Uh oh. You've pissed off the most easy-going man in the world.
Wow. Does something not add up? (Sorry - bad pun)
I finally saw The Sixth Sense, and I thought it was crap with two good performances. If Bruce Willis and the kid hadn't committed to their roles completely it would have failed in the first 15 minutes. You got lucky. Maybe you're just a terrible film maker?
This may be the greatest Craigslist ad EVAR.
And because I love you, to celebrate their reunion tour (as Bachman and Turner for legal reasons) here's Bachman Turner Overdrive with my favorite song of theirs.
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7/1/10 - What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Okay, today I'm going to vent some. The world seems full of people whose brain cells aren't receiving the juice necessary to create rational thought. And of course the best way to do that quickly is with…
Cheap Shots:
Republicans talk all the time about State's rights. So why do they hate the States so much?
Apparently Senator Tom Coburn thinks we were more free before women got any voice in the Senate or the Supreme Court. Here's hoping his wife denies him sex for the rest of his days.
Mark Levin, were you dropped on your head repeatedly as a child? Can you possibly be this fucking stupid?
Bobby the page Jindal may be looking fairly good on TV right now, but in reality he's been fucking his state up the ass.
Now that health care starts to kick in today, I just discovered the real reason that John Boehner is so pissed off at the world. There's a 10% tax on tanning salons.
But the man does party!
Um, what? You hate the idea of something so much that you vote in favor of something else you hate? I don't think that I'm the one with confusion issues.
I have never understood women who hate women's rights. I'm guessing that Ms. Angle hasn't had all of her shots.
Senator Mary Landrieu apparently wants more lube. What is it about Louisiana politicians? Facing the worst environmental disaster in the planet's history they're all, Republican and Democrat alike, grabbing their ankles and screaming, "thank you sir may I have another!" (And there's your 1 degree of separation from Kevin Bacon.)
Ben Nelson, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you sure which party you belong to? Congratulations on blocking the extension of unemployment benefits for the first time during a recession in 60 years.
One thing you have to say about Snoop Dogg - he thinks big.
Another GOP Scandal has entered the hooker phase.
For the record, Senator Lindsey Graham is not banging Ricky Martin. (she-banging?)
I have no problem with people loving their guns. Unlike many liberals I don't give a shit about how many you own or how you like to use them within the law. But this begging for the endorsement of Sarah Palin is pathetic. Ma'am, you're not 14 years old anymore, and Sarah isn't the charismatic vampire you think she is.
I wish I could insult people with the aplomb and mastery of the language that Roger Ebert has.
Of course, many of these are also good.
I have said from day one that no Socialist would ever give Timothy Geithner a job, which is why Obama is no Socialist. But Obama really should fire him.
I want to play poker with Karl Rove. I'd bankrupt him. His tells are so fucking easy to read.
And just to show that I'm not mad at everything, this is teh awesome.
And because I love you, guitarist Igor Presnyakov - doing the most unlikely cover EVAR.
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6/30/10 - No, BP isn't paying for all of it
Not based upon this bill, which is for 25% of the costs of the first month, sent to their joint partner - who owns 25% of the well. So month 1, when they didn't do jack shit, cost just under $1.1 Billion. That's the amount that they spent.
And that's when they were under-reporting the leak by about 99,000 barrels per day. So what is this really going to cost?
I've done some math - TRILLIONS. Feel free to check my work.
On another topic - I haven't said too much these past few days due to the death of Robert Byrd. While I didn't agree with him on everything - I thought he was too much in the pocket of coal mining - the man knew his stuff. There are no mental giants left in the senate now that he's gone, and far too many mental midgets. The U.S. Senate is now significantly intellectually smaller.
Cheap Shots:
By the by, there's a potential disaster of the proportions of the Gulf Gusher in the works on dry land.
Um, big corporation who fucked with the biggest blogger in the world? Yer fucked. Get over it and move on.
Here's a congressman who isn't afraid to get dirty.
So, are you cheering for Paraguay?
My initial reaction to the selection of Ms. Kagan for the Supremes? Meh. I'm starting to like her now.
Speaking of which, the crazy begins tomorrow.
I wonder if Senator Franken plans to sell this on eBay?
does anyone else remember that the first President to talk seriously about the buildup of our military culture and the turning of war into profit was a Republican?
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be. Gotta love the Onion. (h/t to my cousin Peter).
I'm with Nancy on this one. I've been saying so for a while.
And because I love you, The Big 4 (With James Hetfield and Dave Mustaine and just about every heavyweight in metal sharing the same stage)
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The other day Jeb Bush threw a tantrum - upset that the Obama administration is still blaming things on his brother. Fine. We'll stop blaming him for shit when it's no longer his fault. We're not there yet.
Cheap Shots:
Rand Paul: child molester.
Hey DSCC, get behind the winner. We can take this seat - the poll numbers are good and her opponent is a fucking lunatic.
I guess that's one way to solve your country's money problems.
Help an ACORN become a tree.
Technically, it was a demotion, but in practice not so much.
And because I love you, Lush.
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Okay, fuckups happen. It's a part of human nature, and most of us get that. But at some point the mistakes need to stop and a certain level of skill and professionalism are to be expected.
So at what point to we kick BP the hell out of the Gulf and bring in someone else? We've been claiming for some time that we're using BP to deal with the issues in the Gulf because they have more expertise in the matter than anyone else. Given that they had to remove the cap on the gusher today and let everything flow free again because of a bad game of bumper cars - how do you think a stupid company would handle it? If these are the experts I'd hate to see an amateur at it.
Although the amateurs who have been proposing solutions seem to have bigger and better ideas.
Okay, the bumper car metaphor was a bit unfair, because I know that's very difficult work going on down there - I couldn't do it. But that's part of the point. I don't claim that I can do it. No one in their right mind would let me near that stuff and that's the way it should be. Maybe someone should send James Cameron and his brother down there to run the ROVs.
But let's get back to my original point. Fuckups happen. I don't think it's been fully realized by the people of this nation just how big a disaster this is. This is the largest disaster that our country has ever faced. It will do more economic damage than firing every single oil worker and support worker in the entire United Stated. It will cause food shortages in third world nations who use the gulf as a primary source of food - places stretching from Mexico itself through Central America. We're going to have tens of thousands of people sick from the fumes.
Mr. President, your proposal that we can make everything all better is amazingly naïve if not downright stupid. It's been over 40 years since the great oil spill in Santa Barbara that started the environmental movement and you can still find oil on the beaches. Let than sink in. Forty years later it's still not fixed.
And there are a sizeable number of people who want to keep on drilling. Fuck all of you. Your standard of living does not deserve to be created by something this toxic. And if you're worried about jobs, we'll need all of you and more to convert to renewable energy sources. It could be the greatest jobs program of all time, if we as a nation just had the balls to do it.
Because fuckups happen. If you believe that this is the last oil spill we'll ever face, you're a moron. There have two more in the gulf in the last month.
Because fuckups happen we as a nation started to walk away from Nuclear Power. We should do the same with oil.
Because, damn.
Cheap Shots:
Does everyone remember Vera Lynn? Well, how about Edith Shain? Well, you do. We all do. Farewell dear lady. If you know what you're looking for, you can see she was portrayed (very differently and fictionally) in The Watchmen movie.
Look, I understand the move was a political one (and probably a shrewd one) and McChrystal had to go, but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Patreaus!?!?!!?
The Reagan Error explained for idiots.
We made the round of 16! About freakin' time!
So now the only difference between CNN and E! Entertainment is that E! has a sense of direction.
The Final Countdown, on Vuvuzela.
Again with the Republicans exploiting children for their own political gain!
Maybe he's a serial apologist.
Hey, it turns out that Tucker Carlson is a rich fucking idiot even without his day job! Tax his ass!
Hey Jack! Be sure to not skimp on the pepperoni!
And because I love you, Fishbone.
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I'm not much of a sports junkie. I'm not really a fan of baseball or American football, and golf and virtually every form of racing bores me to tears. Yes, I'll root for UCLA every time it plays, but for me the sports I've enjoyed the most over the years are Basketball and Hockey. But with Hockey I've never been an avid follower - I just enjoy watching the game played. But Basketball I've been rabid about from time to time.
When I was a kid I had a teacher who would take a select few students to basketball games of a local community college team. She had season tickets and the team was really good at the time, lead by a point guard who was all of 5 foot 6 and possibly the only Latino in town never looked down on (I didn't grow up in a nice place) because he was freaking amazing. When I went to college I went to UCLA - one of the most legendary basketball schools in the world, where we won both the NIT and the NCAA tournaments while I was there. I made lunches for the team at a time when it included Reggie Miller, Pooh Richardson and Jack Haley. And I was a fan of the L.A. Lakers going back to when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar first joined the team. I hated it when Norm Nixon was traded away. I loved it when Kurt Rambis stole and scored on 4 consecutive inbound passes in 5 seconds. We all yelled "Coop" when Michael Cooper drilled one of those 3 point shots. I hated when Boston came to town. I hated when Detroit came to town. I was saddened by how Magic Johnson had to end his career. I taped the episode where James Worthy played Klingon on Star Trek the Next Generation. A.C. Green was the toughest preacher I ever saw. I think of Vlade Divac as a Laker first.
I'm not so much into it now - the Shaq years in L.A. really turned me off and I no longer live in Los Angeles - but there have always been a few players I've admired. Towards the top of that list I have to include a jaw-dropping player, Manute Bol - who passed away this last weekend at an age only 2 years beyond my own.
7 foot 7 inches, and he looked even taller because he was so damned thin. His stats were never great but there wasn't a player in the game whose shot he couldn't block - he averaged more than 5 blocks a game in multiple seasons. He had a 3-point shot that was ugly as hell but he sank with ease. He was never an all-out star but a journeyman player, but he was a center at a time when the league started phasing out the concept of a true center (the other reason the game isn't as much fun for me anymore). But the thing that always amazed me about Manute Bol was that he never sought stardom like his fellow players. Yes, he made a lot of money, but for him the basketball was a day job that paid for his real passions.
He was a man of Africa. He was from Senegal, and much of his family died in the massacres in Darfur. He had never even heard of basketball before he turned 18, and one story says he hadn't even heard of the United States before then. But height like that doesn't go unnoticed.
He married a woman from his home village (long after his basketball career took off) and there was a dowry that included sheep and cattle. He spent nearly every penny he earned on hospitals and orphanages. He lent his name to political causes in Africa, and just before his death he put off medical treatment that might have saved his life in order to prove that recent elections in Senegal were actually fair and not corrupt.
While still in the NBA he would go into war zones to bring out children and try to save child soldiers. He was often the target of terrorists who saw him as a threat to the ongoing war and corruption in Senegal and Darfur. More than once a speech he was giving was interrupted by exploding bombs. He got other basketball players involved, and by one report I've read he helped relocate more than 27,000 "Lost Boys" - the child soldiers of Africa - to the United States so that they could become normal kids again. You can see some of the story at www.allianceforthelostboys.com.
The man gave without hesitation and it may have cost him his life, but he never backed down from doing so. He saw it as hit duty to give back. There are saints who haven't done as well. I am in no way ashamed to say that he was a better man than me, and probably better than you.
Cheap Shots:
It's a good point and only a footnote in a large blog post, but if McCain had actually won the Presidency, would Sarah Palin have quit by now?
I'm a bit curious why no one is upset that it's the J P Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race.
Wow. The Republican Party of Texas is out of its collective fucking mind.
Hey Rand, shut the fuck up and give them a job!
You should see this post. And then click on the last hyperlink - it goes to a Wikipedia page about someone who ran for president (and won - twice!) with less experience than Obama.
To this new breed of Republican who won't talk to the press - we need to have people at their events yelling "coward!"
And just what the hell happened to Janine Turner?
Apparently one way to get free money from the government is to run for the Senate. I didn't know until today that John McCain's primary opponent was the same guy who tells everyone how to get free government grants on late night television.
And because I love you, Brian Wilson. His voice isn't what it used to be, but this is a good song and the harmonies rock.
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You need to get to the last couple of paragraphs for the real bottom line, but here is the real reason I don't read newspapers anymore. Their "reporting" stinks. I even read the funnies online these days.
Cheap Shots (get your shots ready):
Wow. Tony got his life back.
A life reduced to 140 characters.
Hey, it turns out that "shakedown" is a more polite way to say "nigger". (Yes, take a drink. It's a swear word in my opinion).
Good lord, keep it in Vegas. I'm truly hesitant to use this language, but Ms. Angle appears to be a crazy bitch. (Drink is optional here).
Alan Chin is a great photographer, and he's in the Gulf.
Perez Hilton is wrong here - he should be arrested and his fucking ass thrown in jail.
The Sixth Sense. Must be something about the shoes.
This is not Mircoman. THIS is Microman. Is the Tea Party really saying they want to take on Optimus Prime?
Hillary, we love ya, but you committed a Biden there. (Drink is optional here).
And because I love you, Rush.
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6/17/10 - An open letter to Senator Franken
You're smart and people like you! So why the hell are there debtor's prisons in your state?
The national shame of debtor's prisons and the lessons we as a nation learned from them - i.e. to abolish them entirely - were learned nearly 200 years ago. We got rid of them as an example that the United States of America wasn't going to do business as it had been done when we were colonies. It was a great move.
But as I mentioned in my cheap shots yesterday, in some states and counties debt collection agencies are using law enforcement personnel to round up people who haven't been able to pay off debts. They use the courts to make the debts enforceable by court order, and when people can't pay they get arrested. More often than their bail is set to the amount of their debt. In other words, you don't get out until you pay off what you owe.
And this is being done by a small number of corporations who are going out and buying debt like speculators.
Debtor's prisons. And Senator Franken, your state of Minnesota is one of the 5 who allow this practice. It has to stop.
You've been an impressive Freshman Senator. I like the things you've done. Can I ask you to do one more thing? Close any and all loopholes that allow this kind of thing to happen. You have a responsibility to the people who gave you your job - and you don't need me to tell you this.
Cheap Shots:
Shakedown? Really? Well fuck you. And now that more people have jumped on this "shakedown" bandwagon - Fuck all of you, and your dates. Oh, I'm sorry for speaking my talking points… er…mind.
Although it's interesting to see that some Republicans in the affected areas are going all Keith Olbermann on their asses.
It's starting to look like Dinosaurs are STILL at the top of the food chain.
Personally, and this is purely speculative on my part and not based on any fact, but personally I feel there is a possibility that you fuck goats.
Um, since when is it kosher to raise private money to defend a public law?
Still think that Obama is a Socialist? Then you're a moron.
No Habla say what???
I hate to say it, but these days when Keith Olbermann does this I picture Ben Affleck's hilarious parody of him from Saturday Night Live.
Betty White is everywhere! And yes, there are nude photos. Fortunately, they're 70 years old.
Does no one have the guts to arrest this fucker for inciting a riot? He actually admitted doing it!
While we're talking about msnbc hosts, let's give Rachel Maddow some love as fake president.
How is it that a man this ill-spoken has an ego this big?
Hannity, you get a lot of criticism because you're a dick. Malkin, do you honestly believe that you'd get anywhere near as much press if you weren't a semi-hot Asian chick?
Child Molesters. And then he makes it worse. I will pay anyone (okay, the first person) who gives Rush Limbaugh a Chuck Norris-style kick to the head.
And because I love you, DEVO. New DEVO!!!!
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I've had a hard time doing anything other than snark today. Lots of cheap shots below. Everyone is commenting on Obama's address last night but I'm not going to do that - because I didn't see it. I was stuck in traffic. Everyone is commenting on the Oil Spill, or the lack of sound coming from various Senate Candidates, or whatever the hell is our current outrage flavor-of-the-week.
I'm going to do something different today. I'll get back to the outrage tomorrow. Today I want to say an early goodbye to Keith Olbermann, and a hello to Rachel Maddow. I may not be able to watch his show any more. As noted down in the Cheap Shots section below, the 10pm eastern slot is going to be taken by Lawrence O'Donnell. He is to be congratulated for it - he's been doing lots of hard work at MSNBC over the years. I'd be happier if he was booting Morning Joe off, but this is fine too. The problem is the time slot - it's where the repeat of Olbermann's show is currently running, and that's the airing I watch as I'm not yet home when the original airing takes place.
O'Donnell is good at what he does, but he's not great television. Olbermann is great television - he's theater. O'Donnell is Roger Mudd. There isn't a single national news broadcast worth watching anymore on broadcast television or on cable anymore, so that leaves The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and only one other place I can go for real information - The Rachel Maddow show.
I make jokes about her - separated at birth from Wil Wheaton, etc. But she does a damned fine job of presenting the issues, showing both sides, and coming down partisanly on the side of the truth. Her vivisection of BP, of Rand Paul, and yes of the current administration's faults and successes have all been reporting of the top caliber. Reporting? Remember reporting? Remember when newscasters earned your trust instead of assuming that they already had it?
Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, Brian Williams… all of them assume they have your trust and they present the news with that assumption firmly intact. Rachel keeps trying to earn it, show after show. Her show is on when I get home, and it's going to become my main news source from the teevee going forward. I'll watch the local news late night.
Besides, I've learned how to mix 3 new cocktails thanks to her show, and I am grateful for that.
So goodbye Olbermann, save for uploads and clips on DailyKos and Crooks and Liars I won't be seeing much of you anymore. Thanks for everything - you were a beacon when we needed one. And hello Rachel, and welcome to the couch.
Cheap Shots:
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Pat Robertson is NOT a man of god. He works for the other guy.
She can see the Little Dutch Boy from her house!
This is just amazing. I wonder if U2 is going to change any lyrics.
Okay, why hasn't anyone yet asked if she's a Scientologist? And is the Senate ready for one?
No Congressman Stearns, let's not give them the easy way out.
Stupidity is contagious. We've given it to Russia.
The complete series of Lost, done in 78 seconds, by cats. Serious spoilers, so don't click on the link unless you're ready for it.
Do you smell a TV movie in the making? I do!!!
Why Florida gets to be more pissed off about the oil than everyone else. Look at where all the pipes are.
"Every now and again we all like it … But if you are an adult you want something surprising, savoury, sharp, unusual, cosmopolitan, alien, challenging, complex, ambiguous, possibly even slightly disturbing and wrong." Stephen Fry for the win.
A complete game of monopoly in 21 seconds. Really.
You could see this one coming, but congrats just the same. But being on the west coast, this means I won't be seeing Olbermann's show anymore - I don't get home in time for the live broadcast.
And because I love you, the Nerd Rat Pack (Wil Wheaton, Paul and Storm, Adam Savage, Jason Finn). Set aside some time - this one is long.
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Okay, so now it turns out that there's gold in them thar hills in Afghanistan. Okay, It's uranium and other mineral deposits, but the essential reaction is the same. And it turns out we've known about it for a long time now. So guess what? We're not going to be leaving the place.
We've fought war for oil, for pride, so certainly we're going to fight wars for actual tangible money - the very stuff that famed coke-head Glenn Beck insists that you buy. Let's face it, deposits of uranium, lithium, and other minerals are worth one HELL of a lot of money, and we're going to want access to it.
So what are we now, Humphrey Bogart in Treasure of the Sierra Madre? And how does one say "We don't need no stinking badges" in Afghani?
Cheap Shots:
Rick Barbor is a fucking idiot.
I'm in agreement here. The man is a Democrat and I am about as partisan as they get and I don't give a damn. He should be arrested and charged.
A typo??!!?? Not in my most alcohol-infused state could I screw this one up.
It never once even occurred to me to give fault to Dr. Rand Paul about his day job - only his weird-assed political views (see below). Until now.
Flee.
Bill Maher goes there, and is brilliant with it.
Carly the job creator? Not so much.
And so here is another female reporter saying what Helen Thomas said. Say goodbye to your job. Oh wait.
Apparently, Rand Paul wants to change the line in America the Beautiful from "Purple Mountain's Majesty" to "Blackened Coal Pit".
And because I love you, The Roots, with Ice Cube and MC Ren covering "Straight Outta Compton".
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I had a good week in my personal life, so I'm not so mad for a Friday. Let's move right on to…
Cheap Shots (you know the rules by now):
I love my Congress-critter.
It was a dark and stormy night, motherfucker.
BP seems to want to return the Great Lakes to their 1970s glory. What a bunch of assholes.
Confused by it all? Not as much as this man.
When Kevin Costner says "You guys are fucked!" I laughed my ass off.
I imagine the suicide rate in California is going to skyrocket over the next 5 months just to get away from this shit.
Sometimes, there just aren't any words.
And because I love you, Johnny Cash, with one of the coolest amateur videos ever done. But I warn you, it won't work in Internet Explorer. Try it, you'll see.
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6/10/10 -Yes, I'll come down hard on Obama when his people fuck up
Cheap Shots:
Actually, I think his real motive is that he's jealous that the Gulf is starting to resemble his own skin tone.
Congress will still be in session when this happens. I predict lines stretching for miles.
I'm with digby - her hair looks great.
Radical Islamic Mexican Catholic movement??
Screw the boob job rumors - this one's more interesting.
Herbie Hancock's Imagine Project.
Hey seniors! The death panels are sending you $250.00!
I am absolutely convinced that what Victoria Jackson says is actually performance art. You cannot possibly be this stupid and be able to feed and dress yourself. Do the math on her voting record.
4 votes the other way and the Senate would have told the President to shut down the EPA. What the FUCK is wrong with you people?
The PAC-11?
Another way to scrub something oily away.
South Carolina gets stranger and stranger - and this time it's the Democrats.
And because I love you, Journey - because I had a yearning for this song when I woke up today.
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You can't swing a dead lolcat without finding some sort of analysis of the election results from yesterday. The crazy birther lady lost but with more votes than the crazy senate candidate. The establishment candidate held on in Arkansas by disenfranchising voters in her opponents stronghold. A woman who thinks that fluoride is a communist plot is now the nominee against Harry Reid. A guy who mounted no campaign at all won in South Carolina.
Here in California we rejected PG&E and the Auto Insurance industry's bald power grab, but only barely. Next primary election some jackass who voted for the crazy birther lady will now have the right to vote on my ballot. The city that the San Francisco 49ers want to move to said yes and spread their legs acceptingly. The local boy who championed gay marriage gets to be former Governor Moonbeam's running mate. The least successful big city prosecutor in the state gets to represent us in the race for Attorney General. The democratic party took a certain shift north this time in California, while the Republican Party took a swing towards Sarah Palin's cheerleading squad.
What does it all mean!!!?!!?????!??!??!!!! Fuck if I know. It's all so yesterday.
I guess we find out for certain in the mainstream repudiates the crazy come November. I hope so, because the crazy is also just plain mean.
Cheap Shots:
No links today on the oil volcano - they're everywhere if you just go look. But to all of those people who want to resume oil drilling - WHAT THE EVER-LOVIN' FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??????
Except for this video, put together by a Republican mechanical engineer, that calls out BP's outrageous lies by showing you just how much they are actually claiming is being released into the gulf with real world visuals. It's a must see.
Glenn Beck says that Anarchists want "Total Government". Um, two things - one, somebody take away the man's cocaine and two, somebody give him a fucking dictionary, open to the page with the definition of Anarchy.
If movies followed the original casting…
Crushing a Black Child's soul. If you think I'm ever going to apologize for calling Republicans child molesters - you thought wrong. It's NEVER going to happen.
And because I love you, Chris Gaines
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I usually take Tuesdays off from doing this but even if I didn't I'd still be taking tomorrow off - it's election day here in California. Here are my suggested votes from the left:
Governor: Jerry Brown. Yes, Governor Moonbeam is my choice, a bit by default and a bit by choice. I don't think that anyone we've got running currently has the guts to do what has to be done to fix California - get rid of Prop 13 - but he's probably the closest we've got.
Lieutenant Governor: Gavin Newsom. This one's a toss-up for me, and I also think that Janice Hahn is an excellent choice. I'm just going for the home town boy.
Treasurer: Bill Lockyer. He holds the job now, and he's doing it well.
Attorney General: I may leave this one alone. I really don't see anyone as the best candidate here.
Insurance Commissioner: Dave Jones. He gets it. He's been through it.
Senator: Barbara Boxer. Duh.
And the Propositions…
Prop 13 (for 2010): Yes. This is just a common sense idea to keep taxes fair for those people who retrofit certain buildings to modern earthquake standards.
Prop 14: Hell no. This one would create open primaries. Quite frankly, I don't want any son of a bitch who would vote for Meg Whitman or Carly Fiona to vote in the same party that I do, and I'm sure they feel the same way about me.
Prop 15: No, but this is a matter of principle for me - the idea is to create spending limits on elections. Unless they're mandatory (which they're not here) they're useless.
Prop 16: No fucking way. No. No. No. Go back two years and you'll find we already voted on this, and gave cities the voice to compete with the utilities. This is a bare-faced power grab, and the fuckers who wrote it should be ashamed of themselves. But not as much as the people who wrote…
Prop 17: Good God no. California has the most screwed up ballot initiative system, and here's proof. It looks good on the surface and the commercials are convincing. What they don't tell you in the Yes ads is that they're quoting their own opinions in the voter guide, not the legislative analysis. Anyone who loses insurance or falls behind in their payments gets fucked up the ass by this one.
Local propositions, you're on your own. Remember, vote early and vote often!
As for all of you in other states, I generally stay out of those but I do have two suggestions - if you're in Arkansas vote for Bill Halter, and if you're a South Carolina Republican, vote for the Fucking Raghead. I don't give a shit who she slept with - the alternative is obviously much much worse.
Cheap Shots:
An 89 year-old woman says ONE STUPID THING in a 6 decade career full of things said much smarter than anyone else in the room, and she's forced to retire. Even when she fucks up she's a class act.
Helen Thomas at her best, from Comedy Central.
The dots have been connected - what we all suspected is true - the oil gusher in the Gulf is Dick Cheney's fault.
Not all of the spills happen in the water. Some happen on dry land. Wow - two in a single day?
Consider the scars we as a nation bear because of Vietnam. Now consider that Afghanistan has lasted longer.
What the fuck?!!?!!?!?
Maybe we'd have more confessions from them terrorists if we let them use the Go-Kart track.
Or perhaps we should rename the place the Island of Dr. Moreau.
Hulk Smash! Brilliant, and I honestly mean that.
I wonder if they're going to hire that guy from CSI with the amazing nose. Oh wait, he's a fictional character…
All straight men know this, but some are afraid to admit it. I'm not. Lesbians rule!
And because I love you, Asian Kung Fu Generation.
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I'm still not sure what universe I'm inhabiting, so…
Cheap Shots:
How are you planning on spending your summer?
Well, that didn't take long. I wonder sometimes if when Bobby Jindal looks in a mirror he sees the back of his skull.
The man is something of a jackass, but he's very very talented and he's not wrong about this. He has the experience.
Speaking as a musician and a political bottom-feeder myself, you really should read this.
Whatever your opinion about the stupidity going on in Israel and who you think is to blame, you should see this. We don't get this kind of debate in the U.S. very much.
Once again, Ted Rall nails it.
Hollywood ain't got nuthin' on South Carolina.
I have to give Larry Craig some props for getting setting up John Oliver like this (although it was probably scripted).
The cute one burned the house down, made a move on the first lady, and was partisan. Sweet.
Take a look at some of the clowns running for Congress this year.
When party comes into power abuses tend to happen - don’t go down that road Democrats.
And because I love you, Chicago. And now the same song with the original lineup. For the record, the horn section, drummer, and keyboard player are the same people.
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6/2/10 - I have travelled to another dimension
I spent a few days in the hospital (my leg was acting up again) and when I got out the world had been replaced with one somewhat different that I expected. Let me give you some examples:
Al and Tipper are splitting up. Willie Nelson got a haircut (and now my hair is longer). The Catholic church excommunicated a nun for saving a woman's life. Rep. Mark Kirk (and right-wing prick) of Illinois turns out to be gay. The Supreme Court ruled that in order for you to exercise your right to remain silent you have to actually be silent. The Prime Minister of Japan resigned. The president of BP is complaining that he'd like his life back. Israel raids an aid vessel and kills 11 people - and it's turning out that both sides acted like idiots. Michelle Bachman is calling for the socialist takeover of boats in the Gulf of Mexico. The Governor of Arizona claims that her father died fighting the Nazis in World War II - in 1955. The Republican-led Kentucky Senate disavowed the words of the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate. Guillermo del Toro quits The Hobbit.
What the hell have you people been drinking? And why is it that you won't share?
Cheap Shots:
Keep this woman away from the Brown Acid.
And because I love you, Al Stewart. No, not that song, and not that one either. No, still wrong.
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Sorry for the late post. Had things to do with my family.
Cheap Shots (have your drinks ready - one for each time I swear. People with liver problems should not play):
Are you people fucking idiots or do you just think we are?
Heat; Kitchen, Dickhead.
Dude, one more thing. If you're going to complain about the honeymoon, don't cheat on your new wife with a lesbian MSNBC reporter.
The race to be the person who loses to Barbara Boxer hasn't been dull.
Somebody's going to get their ass kicked.
They really don't want the 17th amendment repealed. Here's why.
I didn't expect it, but the British are actually doing the things we elected Obama to do.
Even if she hadn't been already, Jane would be my favorite Go-Go.
I'm no expert or anything, but upon looking at the live feed I think they're bullshitting us. I think this is looped.
Letting an injured soldier remain a soldier. This is pretty cool.
Geez, pile it on why don't you?
And because I love you, Styx (yeah JY!). And let's put up one with Tommy on lead too. And one with Dennis, on the last tour before he was kicked out.
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5/20/10 - Bring back Jane's ex!
Rachel Maddow is something sorely missed in the world of journalism - an investigative reporter/interviewer. I don't give a shit that she's gay. I don't give a shit about her politics (okay, maybe I do a bit). One thing that she does better than anyone else on TV, including Keith Olbermann, is ask the pointed questions and insist upon answers. She hones in on those answers like a surgeon and follows up with things that matter. She's what news anchors used to be and no longer are.
It's funny that some of the most trusted names in news in the real world (as opposed to Fox's lop-sided one) are comedians and young wonks. But it's also funny that the main reason that they are so trusted has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that they're comedians and wonks. It has to do with how well they shine a light on the terrible job our current media/press is doing their jobs.
If you look at the Daily Show, they spend as much time skewering the people and networks who cover the news as they do on the newsmakers themselves. Why? To point out just how poor a job the people covering the news are doing when they show the actual news. And when you see bullshit like this is it no wonder? Or when the news is cherry-picked like this? Funny enough, the people who watch this sort of analysis are the ones who are better informed about the issues of the day.
God give us back Ted Turner. When he ran CNN everybody was scared shitless and actually did their jobs.
It's not enough to watch the news or read the news. You have to understand it.
Cheap Shots:
I'm not going to link to it, because I want everyone to STOP posting that heart wrenching story of the little girl who tells Ms. Obama that her mother has no papers. You're going to get her deported, and I'd like you all to stop!
In response to his disastrous appearance on Rachel's show, Rand Paul distances himself from Rand Paul.
Wanted - politicians with fucking balls. We could solve the energy issues of our nation in 4 years if they'd just grow a pair. Here's 3,000,000 barrels a day - twice what's drilled, baby, drilled in the Gulf of Mexico - off the coast of England.
Holy shit. The U.S. Senate needs to have an upper age limit of about 20 years less than the current average.
Everybody, let's try not to be as dumb as Texas.
This is just AWESOME.
Han and Chewie, together again.
Forrest Gump and the gang are getting sick. And that's all I have to say about that.
Given that this is the land of Guinness and other real beers, I have no problem with the London Olympics mascot being a bottle opener.
Don't ask, don't tell. (yeah, that was cheap even for me - my apologies, Senator.)
Making your own butter is much cheaper than buying it.
This is a big (non) fucking deal.
And because I love you, Rush.
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5/19/10 - If I may be so bold…
Everyone has been talking lately about the "anti-incumbent mood" in the country. Yesterday's elections on the surface bear that out, but I have a different analysis. I think the country wants to move to the left.
The Democrats held on to Murtha's seat in Pennsylvania and it turns out the race wasn't even close. Arlen Specter was defeated soundly by a Democrat to the left of him - and remember that he left the Republican party because he knew he was going to be defeated from the right. The guy who won the Republican primary doesn't have support through the state, so Pennsylvania's Senate seat is moving left.
Blanche Lincoln in Arkansas is now in a runoff and is facing a man from the left who was only 4 points behind her in the primary, and he would have won outright by 9 points has there not been a third candidate who didn't back down in the final weeks. Those points are going to Bill Halter, and he's going to take Lincoln down. I think the Democrats are better organized in Arkansas than the Republicans here, and Halter is popular. I think this seat is moving left.
And then there's Kentucky, where moron extraordinaire Rand Paul won the Republican primary for that Senate seat, which is currently in Republican hands. Paul is a Teabagger, and he's a hate-filled asshole with no respect for the people of the state of Kentucky. When he makes his speeches he doesn't talk about the needs of Kentuckians, but of the national movement he's a part of. There's bad, bad blood amongst the Republicans in Kentucky and after Paul snubbed his opponent's congratulatory call last night (although they're scrambling now to say it didn't happen that way - which comes off as less believable) I think the Republicans are going to be fractured. Switch to the Democratic side, and you'll see that voter turnout was much higher than expected - so high in fact that in a Republican state with a hotly contested race on the Republican side more Democrats voted than Republicans. Unless Ann Rand Paul can console the people he just insulted and stomped on, I think this seat is moving left.
So what does this all mean?
I think that the teabgger's 15 minutes of fame are pretty close to over. Yeah, they're going to scream and sputter for a while longer, but I think that the American public in general realize just how fucked up these people really are. Yes, they make great entertainment - but no one wants them to actually be in charge of anything. I think that the anger and the very-thinly veiled racism of the teabagger movement is wearing on the people of this country, and I imagine and hope that there will be a sizeable repudiation of their bullshit come November.
The Republican party is claiming that they can take back the House and the Senate this mid-term election. John Boehner claims that they're going to gain 100 seats in the House. They're full of shit. They may gain some seats - it is a mid-term election after all and this happens, but they're not going to make the gains they've been claiming. Like when Bob Dole ran for President, like when John McCain ran for President - their bluster is full of lies and an amazing amount of self-delusion. Most of us who vote would rather have people who have a better grasp on reality running things. At this stage, I wouldn't even count out Harry Reid - given that the Republicans seem to be putting up a lunatic against him.
I think that Nancy Pelosi will consolidate power after this election. I think that if Harry Reid loses a Democrat with more fire will step up. I think if he wins he gets bragging rights amongst the upper-class club that is our Senate. I think that Mitch McConnell will lose his leadership post. I think that Michael Steele will finally be forced to resign.
I think that the leftward move that our country began with the 2008 election isn't done yet. Just don't get complacent about it.
Cheap Shots:
To the State of Arizona, go fuck yourselves.
And the savior of the Gulf might be… Kevin Costner?
While I'm glad a hypocrite got his deserved comeuppance, I'm not fond of the fact that he was blackmailed into it.
Personally, I hope he does it. The people of Utah deserve better than to have their candidate determined by less than 2,000 people.
Remember that Senate candidate who claimed to serve in Vietnam who actually didn't, and the wrestling exec who exposed it all? Eh, not so much.
And because I love you, Hamilton, Joe Franks & Reynolds.
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5/17/10 - pissed off Lakers fan
I am absolutely stunned by the support given to Arizona's fucked-up racial profiling laws by Phil Jackson, the current coach of the Los Angeles Lakers. This is a man whose entire career is involved with teaching and coaching minorities and this is what he thinks? What the fuck?
I have been a Lakers fan my entire life (except for the Shaq years). I remember when Kareem Abdul-Jabar first joined the team. I remember gazing with admiration at Norm Nixon. I remember learning how to do a hook shot because that was one of the things they did. I remember when they drafted Magic Johnson. I was there when Kurt Rambis intercepted and scored on 4 consecutive inbound passes within 5 seconds. I remember James Worthy sliding down the sideline to prevent Kevin McHale from recovering a loose ball. I remember all those 3-point shots by Michael Cooper. I remember when Vlade Divac was an outside shooter and not the flopper he later became in Sacramento. I remember the stoicism of A.C. Green.
When I moved away from Los Angeles 17 years ago I made sure that I could still hear the Lakers on radio. Chick Hearn was the greatest game caller in any sport, and until a few days before his death he didn't miss a game. Some people pay attention to the Lakers to see if Jack Nicholson or Diann Cannon are at the game. I paid attention to hear Chick Hearn describe the game.
Let's be blunt about it - I'm a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers. I didn't watch many games in the Shaq era - Shaq's only real talent is that he's big and that's just a sad commentary on a game where we had people like Abdul-Jabbar who actually played the game instead of just standing there being big. But Kobe is fun to watch and he's good with just about any supporting crew. I'm glad the team is in his hands now.
I've never really been a fan of Phil Jackson's. His game is very cerebral and not many groups of players can succeed with it. By the same token he has found success with it in two cities and that's hard to ignore. But his comments about what's happening in Arizona are about as stupid as it gets. I'm absolutely stunned by this. Los Angeles has a HUGE Latino population (we call ourselves Angelinos, after all) and this is a slap in the face to a very large and vocal group of fans.
The fans at a Lakers game are vocal. I hope he gets his ass booed tonight.
Tomorrow's a big election day - I'll have comments about it on Wednesday. But I will say this about California politics - if you vote for Meg Whitman you're a fucking idiot. Running a company is NOTHING like running a state. Companies can increase their revenue streams to get things done. California can't. Not with proposition 13 still in place. Her promises don't mean shit.
Cheap Shots:
Okay, here's a primer for fucking idiots like Ms. Sarah: You don't drill in the ocean because leaks go to places you don't want them to go. Like this.
I'm starting to think that this is a case of don't bet against the house.
I'm just as shocked as you that the universe didn't explode. Anti-matter particles collided.
The loss of Ronnie James Dio is a big one - and I had no idea he was 67 years old. Here is the song where I first heard his amazing voice.
Did anyone check the registration on that oil rig?
Miss USA is a Muslim! Hide the wimmen and children! The country is a gonna collapse! Hide! She's the Anti-Prejean! Run! Panic! AAAAAUUUUUGGHGGHHHH!!!!!
Ooooh, maybe Jim Jones survived.
Apparently the prior worsts evah can now rest easy.
Do you run a small non-profit? Are you screwed?
Clarence Thomas has no business being on the Supreme Court.
California prepares to dis the stupid.
And because I love you, the most weirdly awesome cover of a Journey tune EVAH!
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Atrios is right - it's well past the point where BP should be admitting that they haven't the slightest clue what they're doing. So Obama is sending in Bruce Wills and his team. Seriously. The President has called together a rag-tag team of people to try and fix what BOP can't. It's a freakin' movie. I can't think of another time in real life where this has happened.
Cheap Shots (have your drinks on standby):
I very much want to see more of this bastard. Oh, hey.
The Senators of the West Coast lead the way.
So we have people running for Congress touting their records of multiple felonies. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do we seriously want to elect the Gordon Geckos of the torture movement? (Um, sidebar - Gecko was the bad guy, assholes.)
Democrats, you should have done the right thing. They're all watching porn anyway.
Here's as good a reason as any why DADT is a fucking failure.
I knew that when S. Epatha Merkeson decided to leave the show it would be a death knell.
On job creation, Obama is kicking President Drunken Chimp's pasty white ass.
Okay, let me explain Net Neutrality in simple terms. It means that no one outside of your home can limit access to any content on the web, or charge you extra for it, or prioritize one portion of it over another. That's it. Nothing else. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking liar, and you can tell them I said so.
So we're supposed to believe a convicted liar about the confirmation of an internet rumor that we captured one of the world's most wanted terrorists 2 months ago. I'm actually more troubled by the fact that the man is given a promotion of rank in two sentences - and he's been dishonorably discharged from the military so we shouldn't be referring to him by any rank at all.
50 years of not being mounted on frikkin' shark's heads.
I want to know why there are no Bruins on the court.
And because I love you, Happy Mondays.
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'You're A Hottie With A Smokin' Little Body' How do you compete with that when trying to make fun of the day?
Cheap Shots:
The Free Speech movement is 50 years old today.
"The American people expect you to have a response comparable to the Apollo project, not 'Project Runway,' "
Dude, don't insult softball playing women. They carry bats and aren't afraid to hit your balls.
The Governor of South Carolina is off hiking again. He's single now, so my take on it is, so what?
To the people of Maine - if you meet any of the people responsible for this, kick their fucking teeth in. KTHXBYE.
Hawaii pulls an anti-Arizona move.
I don't give a damn about the politics of the situation. You have to admire this.
Little Orphan Annie is back on the streets.
Again, Senator Al Franken FTW!
The last 20 seconds of this are brilliant. Gotta love Lewis Black.
Get your Star Wars geek on. Number 7 is just so wrong.
And because I love you, Cheap Trick.
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I simply cannot top this. Obama tells Rush Limbaugh that he can go play with himself. I can do no better today.
Cheap Shots:
A picture is worth 1,000 dolphins.
And Ben Folds, musician extraordinaire, reminds us about the current horrors in Nashville using the same method.
Ms. Kagan isn't gay because Eliot Spitzer says so??? Um, wow.
Gotta love John Burton. He used to be a neighbor of mine and he always talks like this.
Wow. Just wow. Someone send out Mike Rowe and the Dirty Jobs crew.
I talked about this before, but I never made the connection about Arizona banning the movie Kindergarten Cop.
"So she's exactly like Harriet Miers, except for the dumb part." Or if you prefer, At 50 years old, Kagan is "just a kid. And she's going to be distracting all of the other Justices with her squealing over Justin Bieber." (Bratwurst?)
And because I love you, The National.
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5/10/10 - Theoretical lesbians
I honestly don't know what to think about the selection of Elena Kagan as an associate justice of the Supreme court. She doesn't have a judicial record of any kind - the first such nominee in a very long time (unless you want to count Harriet Miers, and do you really want to do that?) - but she's been a good Solicitor General. She has said things I approve of but she doesn't seem to be the heavyweight thinker that she's replacing. I could be wrong, of course. I would have opposed Warren Berger's appointment to the court and he turned out to be brilliant.
But one thing I will condemn with the strongest words I know (and if you've been a loyal reader you know most of those words by now) the already organized opposition to her placement because she's a theoretical lesbian. Personally, I don't give a rat's ass one way or the other about Ms. Kagan's sex life. I also think it doesn't matter. But here's the thing - they're assuming a successful single woman must be a lesbian. Like Condoleezza Rice or Harriet Miers. Oh wait - those were liberal smears.
What the ever-lovin' FUCK is wrong with you people?
Cheap shots:
Ms. Kagan was precocious. I'm sure that's a good sign for McCain.
I don't understand how these people think they can win the hearts and minds of the people here - they didn't misspell a single word on those signs.
As you can see, they don't actually give a fuck about the country - they just want to win.
So we have a black man criticizing a white woman for criticizing slavery. What the hell are they smoking over there?
Every once and a while something happens that makes the teabaggers look very stupid - the fact that Obama leans in their direction on some issues. Like appointing this man.
Sung to the tune of Bruce Springsteen's "American Skin" - 27 waivers…
So the general consensus from both sides of the aisle is that he's losing his job because he did his job. Man, politics can be fucked up sometimes.
Okay, let's see Law & Order make an episode about this. I hope they remember to throw in something about the paternity insurance he holds through Lloyd's of London.
This happened while here in the U.S. some guy failed to light gasoline on fire.
Wow. Zombie Fidel Castro is actually right about something.
It was the expected thing, but does this mean that the Queen won't be setting up the new government?
Hooboy, can Christopher Nolan make a movie.
Betty White is freakin' brilliant.
I think my favorite part of this whole thing is that the YouTube clip is subtitled in Finnish. I saw a moose once…
I love my adopted home town. This took place outside my office.
Lucien, you're young so this probably didn't occur to you - but if he's not gay, why didn't he hire a woman to carry the bags (and his sack)? You look like a wind could knock you down and I know plenty of beautiful women who could probably bench press you.
So this is the platform of the Republican't party in the state with the two most "moderate" Republicans? WTF?
Still think I'm Over The Hedge? How did the Dow do today?
And because I love you, Lena Horne - whom I was lucky enough to seem perform about 25 years ago. She will be missed.
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Long before the great comic strip Over the Hedge became a kiddy movie with Bruce Willis and Gary Shandling it was a very funny and often scathing comic that made fun of man's foibles and man's failure to fit in with nature - told from the point of view of animals who were just fine with suburban sprawl - as long as they got their fair share. There is no place else you could possibly find punch lines like "His third dimension done been revoked!", "When it comes time to invade Finland, you're in charge", "I don't think they used macaroni and cheese dust", and of course "Fortunately for the rest of us, Verne's just not that lucky."
One strip that always comes to mind is one where Verne (the turtle) is telling R.J. (the raccoon) just how interconnected everything is. To demonstrate this point, he blows into a hollow tree stump and a cloud overhead toots. There's another strip on the same theme where Verne plucks a flower and the sun goes out (which prompts him to ask for some duct tape - Verne's a man, but he can change, if he has to, I guess).
What does this have to do with anything? Well, what do you know about what's happened in the rest of the world this week?
Great Britain's election produced a result of "wha…?" No one is in the majority, and for the first time in decades the Queen might actually have the power to appoint a government - although it will take some time to do so. There's rioting in the streets of Greece as a bailout package for their banks has so far not materialized and pensions (their social security) has been cut dramatically. What does this have to do with you?
Looked at the Dow the last two days?
The line out there about a broker misspelling "million" as "billion" sounds to me like bullshit. The Dow drops 900 points over a typo. You'd think it had never happened before, and in the lengthy existence of the stock exchange I doubt it. But banking collapses and political uncertainty in the country where the company in charge of the largest oil spill in the world's history is based? Think those have had no effect at all?
Aw, shut up and drink.
Cheap Shots (get your drink on):
Jon Stewart hits it out of the park - 6 times in 10 minutes.
They were drilling in a fucking mine field?!!?!!?!???
Wil didn't write it, but it is pretty funny. (Drink if you click on the link - trust me, it has more swearing that I'm going to do today.)
Right-wing freakout in 5… 4… 3… 2…
Bobby the Page asks for help. It's hypocritical of him, of course, but it is the right thing to do.
Plus.
You can still fuck an alligator legally in Florida.
Stay away from the brown scotch! 50 points to whomever notices the irony in my joke.
If you look closely at his answers he doesn't actually deny anything. He's just saying what he agreed to say.
Yeah, it's a small number, but this is still funny.
Debbie Schlussel is a skinny white trash bitch.
and speaking of Ms. Sibide, she's also made a TV pilot.
Hey gang, this is pretty damned close to 1 in 5.
This is a pretty interesting series of photos.
Don't fuck with Iceland! Okay, but don't go all Bjork on our asses either.
Have a happy Mother's Day.
And because I love you, Art of Noise.
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I have to confess it - Mardi Gras 2009 was my Katrina. I got pretty wasted and I'm pretty sure there were breasts involved. Oh wait, I wasn't in Louisiana at the time - so it wasn't my Katrina after all. Do you think that anyone would be calling this "Obama's Katrina" is it happened someplace other than off the coast of Louisiana?
I know that all of you "drill, baby drill" people are feeling a bit uncomfortable right now. Fortunately there's plenty of oil around to get you lubed up. You need to go swimming to get it, but hey nothing's perfect. But please, this reeks of desperation. Yes, the disaster in the Gulf is bad. But Obama didn't sit on his hands. If it wasn't for his people, we wouldn't know how bad the gusher is. If it wasn't for his people we wouldn't have had people in place within hours of the sinking of the oil rig to start clean-up operations. If it wasn't for him we wouldn't have a death toll that rivals 9/11.
Oh wait, that was the last guy.
Yes, 11 people dead and the economy of the south destroyed is a bad thing. But to compare it to Katrina? Katrina has two faults - poor infrastructure caused by budget cuts and poor response time. In the case of the Gulf Gusher yes, there was poor infrastructure - caused directly by Dick Cheney. But the response time was pretty damned good. It wasn't enough, but I'm not certain that given the circumstances that enough was even possible.
You people are fond of saying, "The American people are smart enough to see what's happening." In this case I agree. Or like Jon Stewart said the other night - they can have any girl in the room.
And they know when you're bullshitting them.
Cheap Shots:
Besides, we should compare responses flood to flood. Here's a sample of the response to the sinking of Nashville.
I love this turn of phrase, "a bunch of heroic Galts soiling their trousers." digby rocks.
Bad-Ass. Hilarious.
In an article about Bill Moyer's retirement (he will be missed) it is observed that Politico wrote 84 stories about how much Jay Leno sucked
Illegitimate. Like a child out of wedlock?
"Long Stroke" becomes the new "Wide Stance".
I wonder if American pensioners (i.e. the Baby Boomers on Social Security) will revolt like this when Republicans finally manage to gut Social Security.
It turns out that Joaquin Phoenix may have been channeling Andy Kaufman.
"Never, ever contact me again."
This guy's a Republican?
Senator Strangelove, or How I Learned to Love the Audit.
And because I love you, Julian Cope.
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Think about this - The world went nuts for a while when the Exxon Valdez had its accident in Alaska. The fallout from that went for years and some places never recovered. Now imagine it happening again every other day. For 2 months. That's where we are right this second in the Gulf of Mexico. It hasn't happened - but it's going to and there's nothing happening to stop it.
Right now, as you read this today, the ongoing spilling of oil is happening at a rate of 4 Exxon Valdez's a week. It's been going on for two weeks, and the current solution to cap the well with concrete structures will take another 6 to 8 weeks. If it works. If it doesn't the next thing they're going to try will take another 3 months. Instead of 40 Exxon Valdez's we could have 75 to 80. We know we're going to have at least 40.
Don't believe me? Check this.
This week it will pass the great oil spill in Santa Barbara in 1969 that led to the ban on offshore drilling. Exxon Valdez in 1989 led to the demise of Exxon as a brand name in the United States. Every 20 years or so we have a screw up of amazing proportions. We were overdue and we're getting hit with a big one. This is shaping up to be the largest man-made environmental disaster of all time. The economy is going to suffer. Seafood prices will skyrocket. A way of life that I for one absolutely love is being destroyed. People will lose their jobs. People will starve - a sizeable chunk of the world relies on the ocean for its food supply and a good chunk comes from the Gulf. Florida beach towns as a summer destination this year have been screwed.
The oil spill is so pervasive that it's actually interfering with the production of oil!
And although the Obama administration is talking tough, the reality is that BP may only be on the hook for $75 Million for the effects of the spill thanks to a law passed in 1990. In a worst-case scenario that will wind up being less than $1 a gallon. Thank you George Bush the Elder.
In all seriousness people, how much more of this do you honestly think we can stand?
Cheap Shots:
The Governator comes back to a position he used to hold.
Hey Wall Street Fuck, you wouldn't last a week at my job on my salary.
Starting today you can no longer walk under "Equal Justice Under The Law".
Okay, you drink it, you stupid fucking idiot.
Minnesota keeps the crazy going. Okay, every airport employee walk away - if he gets his way you can't be working in Minnesota.
Just to show that Republicans don't have a lock on the crazy and that I do notice it, here comes a repeat from the past.
And here it is, the White House Correspondents Dinner. Obama was funnier than Leno - maybe Coco wrote his jokes. Nope - the staff of the Daily Show. Obama is cool.
If this is true, then some people should go to jail. Of course, people are denying it, but in the past when Nancy has said something like this, the facts have eventually borne her out.
And here is why Charlie Crist just might win in Florida - he acts like a human being.
So you're endorsing a candidate based upon speaking with an OB/GYN? I've never done it that way myself…
The Muppet of Sunday Talk did his job? What is the world coming to?
By the way, send Nashville some love - they could use it.
The problem with Coco's interview on 60 minutes is the editing. From this perspective, it looks like he's in real pain.
They failed to kill Kenny? Doubt it.
And because I love you, Pete Seeger - who turns 91 today. My daughter turns 11 tomorrow. I have been fortunate enough to see both perform.
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Boy did I ever get some passionate responses to my "friends" post below - and given that don't make it easy to contact me that's really saying something. Some agreeing with me, some disagreeing with me. The wife and I did have a bit of an argument over it, and as usual she had a point I hadn't thought of - that it insulted the memories of Patrick Swayze, Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.
And you know what's cool about it? The fact that we could argue about it, even among friends. It's a shame that so many don't get that.
Cheap Shots (you know the rules by now):
Racist cocksucking motherfuckers. And I'm being nice about it. (Yes, drink two shots for this one).
How about a Dickhead tax?
Nice to see the Obama administration reversing themselves when they discover they're wrong.
By the way, it's not an "oil spill". It's "oil spilling" - at a rate of 4 Exxon Valdez's per week, with no clue how to make it stop. Bill Maher is right on the money - every asshole who chanted or chants drill baby should be sent to the Gulf coast to clean this shit up.
I want facebook at add a "dislike" tag.
Here's a phrase you never thought you'd hear and I never thought I'd say; for this, Celine Deion rocks.
If you're out of work as you read this, congress expects you to get off your fat ass and get back to work.
And because I love you, Steely Dan. Just kidding. How about the Marty Paich Quartet?
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4/29/10 - With friends like these…
As many of you know by now, there is a Facebook group that is praying for President Obama's death. It does it in a joking fashion, although the joke is in pretty poor taste. It reads as follows: "DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN." No need to shout, people.
A friend of mine joined this group. We disagree on just about everything when it comes to politics, but get along fine otherwise. My wife "de-friended" this person on the spot. After deliberating it for a couple of days in my head, I have decided not to de-friend this person - which I'm sure will spark a fight between my wife and I. Knowing the person in question as I do, I imagine that this person just finds it funny and it suits their political temperament. I'm not going to de-friend someone for having a sense of humor that's different than mine. And poor taste in favorite actors and actresses. I mean, please.
Besides, the joke is pretty old and has been used under different contexts. The cartoonist Keith Knight once did a cartoon about a woman who got into musicians just before they all died (Kurt Cobain, Jerry Garcia, etc) and decided to "use her power to kill musicians for good" by becoming Michael Bolton's biggest fan. I found that funny. When you look at the above the only thing that's changed is the names.
And the context, of course. At the time of that cartoon we didn't live in a time where people were attempting to found a political movement based upon fear. Context matters and I worry that what my friend sees as funny is being created out of hate and fear (which the evidence seems to support) and that my friend has signed on with a group that doesn't see it as an attempt at humor but as a wish. That makes a difference of course, but let's face it - facebook isn't deep enough to consider such things. That's a discussion for off-line.
But I won't de-friend someone over it without that discussion first.
Cheap Shots:
I quote the great digby 3 times today. The first is to point out that doctors are looking into why insanity is contagious.
It's a point. Doesn't this mean that they have do deport nearly every Cuban in Florida?
DISCLOSE. And somebody buy a round of drinks for the poor intern who had to come up with that.
Yes, the oil spill in the Gulf is much worse than anyone thought. Why Obama hasn't been blamed for it yet (in some sort of warped piece of twisted that includes his ordering the oil platform exploded) I do not know. Come on Glenn, I know you can do it!
I think I like the new guy running the War Room at salon.com. Bong Hitz 4 Satan indeed.
"…or whatever" ???????????
This kind of political collapse does happen here, but to see it in England is amazing.
Okay, everyone in Oklahoma who isn't trying to have a child, STOP FUCKING!!!! They're trying to tell you that women shouldn't be having sex without procreation. Oklahoma is about to become the male masturbation capitol of the world.
And Florida is about to follow suit.
Michael Moore will wash a car this weekend.
Sometimes, you just have to say what the fuck?
Dancing DeLay may finally get his day.
And because I love you, Everclear.
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I hear it all the time these days - that we expect the Democratic party to suffer losses when November rolls around. I have to ask everyone - whatever for? It makes me crazy that we have already accepted losing in November as the narrative - it doesn't have to be that way and it's breathtakingly easy to fix. All we have to do is defeat the stupid.
I want the Democratic Party to win big in November. I mean, freakin' huge. I want them to maintain their significant majorities in both houses of congress. I want them to campaign against the raging fucking stupidity we've been forced to sit through ever since we had the gall to elect a black man as our President. I want the Republican party crushed. Humiliated. If every single Democrat running for office used their brains and their backbones and ran against the astonishingly dumb things coming out of the mouths of their opposition, it would be a landslide. It's not hard, people.
But my reason for wanting this win isn't so much about hurting Republicans as much as saving our nation.
Since we had the gall to elect a black man President, a certain level of absolute fucking astonishing stupidity has entered our national political discourse, and we treat it like it matters. We give the stupid press and publicity, and we treat it as if it were a viable option. Things like "show me your papers" in Arizona, allowing your doctor to lie to you in Oklahoma without repercussions, putting microchips in illegal aliens in Iowa, asking your health professional to pay his own bills with the chickens you gave him in Nevada, pushing a man out of your political party who could easily win the state for you because he isn't catering to the stupid in Florida, going to a national park in Virginia to complain that President Obama is taking away your right to carry a gun when they should be thanking Obama for signing the law that allowed them to bring their guns in the first place - every single one of these things are being talked about as if they were reality or real solutions to real problems, instead of being greeted with a credulous "you're kidding, right?" or better yet "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Let me give you an example - If you called Joe DiMaggio a Socialist Fascist Muslim you'd get the crap kicked out of you in bars from San Francisco to New York. But do the same to our current President and suddenly you're treated as if it's a serious position.
What the hell happened?
Republicans have repeatedly tried to take credit for things they voted against - Health Care Reform, the Stimulus Package. They have asked for extended debate on banking reform and then not shown up for the debate itself. It's the kind of shit that you punish your children for so that they learn to be better people.
It is my firm belief that the majority of Americans would treat things like this with the derision that it so richly deserves, if the Democratic party were willing to run full steam against it. Our motto should be "Defeat the Stupid". It would be an easy campaign to run - it would be a satisfying one to run, and it would show just how far from reality the Republican party has gone. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that the Democratic party can't win a massive victory in November. It just takes the willingness to defeat the stupid.
It takes the willingness to go where Jon Stewart already goes - we already know that his audience tends to be better informed than those who watch Fox.
Because if we don't defeat and marginalize the stupid, the stupid will remain part of our conversation - as if the stupid were positions that could be feasibly maintained. And that will be the death of our country. Stupidity isn't survivable. For America's sake, the Democratic party needs to win and win big. And all we have to do is point out just how stupid the stupid is - people will recognize it. Don't sell the people short.
If we run against the stupid, the Republicans will go down in defeat because they've embraced it. If we defeat them soundly perhaps some of them will abandon the stupid and come back to the table and talk - they'd certainly be welcome.
Let's make it happen.
Cheap Shots:
An open missive to all of the White people (naturally born U.S. citizens) in Arizona who hate the new "show me your papers" law. Speak with a British Accent - no matter how convincing it is. Let's see how many of you get asked to show papers.
Mexico has issued a travel warning against Arizona - a first in the history of our country.
Harsh realm, dude. Apparently in Orange County Republicans are pro pot.
Can someone please explain to me why Republicans want to actually do the very things they accuse Democrats of wanting to do? There are liberals in Iowa - my In-laws are among them. So why is their state painted with stupid shit like this?
Remember all that about GM paying off their bailout loan? Well, not so much.
So it's Obama's fault? Face it lady, and I almost never use this word in anger, but you're a fucking cunt.
The disaster looming in the Gulf is so bad that the current best option is to set the fucking ocean on fire!
It's really about not letting the wetbacks vote. You cowardly racist fucks.
Here's a list of companies in Arizona to boycott should you choose to do so (you'll have to scroll down a bit). Some of them may surprise you - a couple did me. I'll have to find somewhere else to buy cat food.
And then an Arizona Sheriff fights back.
The new Predator movie just got a huge lift of kick ass, thanks to Danny Trejo.
We could all see this coming -but he still might have a surprise in store for us.
We have all suspected for years that President Drunken Chimp's wife is the quiet subservient type who helped keep her husband in check. Well, maybe she's just as big a dingbat as he is.
That's some good hat Harry. And the opposition folds. Do more of this Harry and maybe you'll keep your job this November.
Ah, Plastiki I sing to your spirit…
And because I love you, see how Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" came to be.
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I have tried and tried today to come up with something new to say, and I haven't done a good job of it, so let's just move on to just a few…
Cheap Shots:
What if the tea party movement, guns and all, were instead a Black Power movement?
Not only is this very scary, but the unfortunate name of this guy also gives the shivers.
A Diamondback is a kind of snake. Just sayin'.
Remember that oil rig explosion last week that killed 11 people? Well, it's turning into an ecologic disaster of huge proportions. And you want to make more of these damned things?
Rehab faster than you'd think.
I've only recently gotten into Fringe, but even if I weren't I would admit that this is extremely cool. Spoiler Alert!
And because I love you, Divinyls!
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Alas, I'm not as witty as Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and their collected writing staffs, so let's just go out and get shit-faced drunk.
Cheap Shots (have your drinks at the ready - remember, one drink per swear word below - you're going to get sloshed):
You of course realize that what this sets up is that some dickheaded cop in Arizona is going to demand that President Obama show his papers the next time he comes to Arizona. Hey, instead of "papers" how about we demand that they wear yellow stars on their clothing instead? You're being racist mother fuckers. Until this disgrace is gone, I won't be visiting Arizona - not even as a performer. Not even just to make a connecting flight. Go fuck yourselves.
Hey Jon, can we get a "go fuck yourselves" for these guys?
This is Alabama. We speak Dumb-assed Hick.
I hope this idiot gets a dishonorable discharge.
2 more movies to cross off my list of things to see. Seriously, this 3D bullshit has to stop.
"What's bad for Wall Street would be good for America". Brilliant. Why do people argue with this guy? Do they have a Nobel Prize in economics? For being right about the economic policies of President Drunken Chimp?
Somebody put up an easy conversion chart for you and your doctor to convert cash into chickens.
Firing squad? Seriously? A fucking FIRING SQUAD?
The story about SEC inspectors viewing porn instead of the markets? Turns out it happened 2 years ago. You know, when the other guy was running the show?
Damn - who could have seen this coming? Hope he pulls through.
Ridley Scott talks about the very thing we all want him to talk about, and he does it exactly right.
You know, this man impressed the hell out of me in "The Usual Suspects". And he's been a total fucking loser ever since.
I would take number 9 off the list and replace it with "Ruthless People", but otherwise this one has it pretty close to right, although the lack of Abbott & Costello and the Marx Brothers, as well as Road to Alaska is troubling.
I hate to disagree with the current White House, but Larry Summers is wrong. Dead flat fucking wrong.
Apparently they think they are running against Betty Crocker.
And because I love you, Lang Lang, messing with your head - from a concert here in my urban hell-hole a few nights ago.
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4/22/10 - They got the date wrong in that song
It's Earth Day. Huzzah. I went to pick up the DVD for James Cameron's Avatar and you would think that for a film that went to the step of releasing on Earth Day, and releases usually don't come on Thursdays, that the packaging would have been more Earth friendly.
Last night the family was watching the Daily Show - well, the early evening repeat of the previous night's show. And we got to talking about one particularly stupid thing someone said - I don't even remember what anymore. But my son said, "How can he be so stupid?" and for once I thought quickly and replied, "Son, keep in mind that this man's first word was probably 'duh'." I'm not usually that fast with the humor, but I knocked that one out of the park, based upon the reactions of my family.
We seem to allow much more stupidity in political discourse than anywhere else. Tedd Rall does the best job of exposing it as you can see here, but we seem to get the most moronic things said on television and it's only okay when it's a political view. If someone said that Joe DiMaggio was a commie-homo-pinko that person would get the crap kicked out of him if bars from San Francisco to New York City and every place in between. But if you claim that the President is the same thing you might get your own show on Fox.
Wow, two baseball analogies in two paragraphs. Ask anyone who knows me and you will find that's unusual.
The point is, at some point the best and the brightest stopped coming into politics, and all we're left with now is the greedy. Everyone is of course entitled to their opinions, no matter how stupid they might be, but I would feel better if the people writing our laws and running our government acted like smart adults instead of belligerent 13 year-olds who team lost the game on a goaltending charge. Dude, you lost the election. Now the other side gets to legislate. If you don't like it, then win your next fucking election.
But do us all a favor and try to do it with positions based upon intelligence, fairness (yeah, that's a goal-post mover), and most of all respect for your audience. In the meantime I'll sit over here and check on the wind-chill factor in hell.
Cheap Shots:
Kathleen, may I call you Kathleen? Do something.
digby's husband kinda has a point. Maybe they actually want another Hitler.
Comedy Central loses its "Edgy" label.
To me it looks like the only good piece of news about this is "Young Justice", and then only if it features the same voice actors from Teen Titans.
I love how at the end of the url for this link it says "showall".
I like it. Instead of sending her money, let's send her chicken parts!
I hadn't realized it but he's right. Attempting to out Lindsey Graham to discover if he's being blackmailed is ALSO BLACKMAIL.
You should see these pictures - if for no other reason than to see the coffin and the picture of Adam Ant.
Ooooh, their insurance is dropping them.
And because I love you, Dramarama - no, not that song. Sorry the video quality is so terrible.
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This started out as a joke riff on the bizarre hearing in Georgia yesterday (The "2 Chip Microchip bill") where a woman claimed she had had a microchip forcibly implanted in an… unusual place by the Defense Department, but then I ran across a story this morning that made my blood boil. It hurt a lot.
So, I said nice things about Oklahoma the other day. I'm taking them back now. The Oklahoma Senate has just passed a group of bills that make getting an abortion more difficult, including one bill that actually requires a vaginal probe. A vaginal probe. Think about that for a second. Eww, not like that.
Okay, so say you're taking your 14 year-old rape victim daughter to a clinic to do the only sane thing. Now she must be subjected to having an object unwillingly inserted into the same orifice where she was unwillingly violated the time before. In other words, the Oklahoma Senate has just ordered her doctor to rape her again, so that she can "have as much information as possible". Someone does that to my daughter and they're getting said probe shoved very very far up their ass. That's not a threat by the way, but a statement of fact.
The man (no woman would ever come up with this one) who wrote the bill is State Sen. Anthony Sykes, R-Moore, and he along with every fucker who voted for this should be kicked in the testicles, very hard, by every woman in the state. Every day.
Another bill they passed requires the doctor to describe the fetus in detail to the woman. It also requires that women and their doctor fill out a lengthy questionnaire that includes questions about why the woman is seeking an abortion in the first place.
Hey Bill Maher, new rule. Men can't write abortion laws until they can have them themselves! And to the Republican controlled state senate of Oklahoma, Go fuck yourselves.
Cheap Shots:
This is the sort of thing that makes you want to bitch slap Republicans.
Glenn, if you really believe this then it's the cocaine talking.
It's a good point - maybe he's accepting chickens instead of cash.
Speaking of chicken, here's proof that there are things worse than KFC's Double Down. I still haven't tried it though.
Like Arizona, which is being boycotted by one of its one congressmen.
Sometimes, silence is also an answer, not that she doesn't have an answer.
To my way of thinking it's less of a Catch-22 and more of a "something we can blame Bush for for the next 50 years."
This gentleman raises some salient points here, but his solution, trust them not to lie, is so laughable that I think I pulled a muscle.
No way around it - some people are just mean.
My mayor is a decent guy and all, but I seriously doubt he would ever do this.
Maybe they'll be claiming they were driven to do it by the backwards letter "B" carved into their skulls.
Yes, you can be fired for voicing your opinion outside of work.
I gotta wonder if this guy is aware that the biggest living legend in country music (Willie Nelson) is a pot-smoking liberal.
Although he claimed otherwise, when Mitch McConnell came back to the bargaining table yesterday it looked to me like he was the one who caved. Looks like I was right. I usually am. Especially after the spanking he got from one of my heroes, Chris Dodd.
Just great. A major free speech case will be decided by a Supreme Court that has no understanding of current technology.
The Christian Legal Society doesn't seem very Christian to me.
Um, Courtney Michelle?
Okay, question for you. Right this second, how many of you are carrying papers proving you're an American citizen? I don't need no stinkin' papers, but I have the advantage of being white. Even so I'm staying away from Arizona.
This miniature Hobbit Hole is pretty cool.
The back story of Avatar might make for TWO more movies.
Look out, but Eyjafjallajokull has a big brother (sister?) named Katla.
When you get to number 2 on this list (which is on the second page), and if you're a member of my generation, go to imdb.com and look him up - and you'll realize we all remember him for a very different reason.
Setting aside for a moment the whole idea that a man is being blackmailed because he is rumored to be gay (which he denies) you would think that people who want to defend individual liberties so badly would have a problem with outing someone against his will. Nope, they're just hypocritical dickheads.
And because I love you, Yes' "Ritual" in 3 parts: part 1, part 2, part 3. Sometimes when I hear Steve Howe's guitar playing I think that no one ever told him he can't play like that, so he just does.
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I've never been to Oklahoma. I've been to Nebraska and Kansas, so I've been in the general neighborhood, but never Oklahoma. I have no family or friends there, although I hope that I have fans (or potential fans) of my music there.
Nonetheless, I can remember with vivid shock the events of 15 years ago. I was something of a stay-at-home father at that time, with my wife in school and my son all of 17 months old. We watched the pictures and footage until we could watch no more, when they started pulling out the bodies of children from the day care center at the Federal Building blown up by Timothy McVeigh. It was a bad day all around, and the sure psychic shock of the largest act of domestic terrorism in our country's history is one not easily shaken.
You may have heard recently that McVeigh said that this was meant to be patriotic retribution for the mistakes of Waco, which also happened on this day 2 years earlier. While what happened at Waco was bad no one could have predicted that David Koresh was so crazy as to set up his compound to be a powder keg. But McVeigh saw himself as a patriot and killed 168 people. If you listen to this fucker's words, they might sound awfully familiar.
What I remember about the aftermath of this once it became clear that a para-military right-wing nutcase was responsible and not some outside influence, the right wing militia groups started to tone down their rhetoric a bit. No one wanted to be associated with McVeigh - although you can find exceptions. A small bit of sanity returned, for just a little while, while we as a nation grieved over a loss we could barely fathom and yet all felt.
While I make fun of a coke-head like Glenn Beck and I do provoke these motherfuckers who talk the same talk today that McVeigh did 15 years ago I wish none of them any real ill will - in case you haven't noticed it what I do is satirize using their own methods with righteous anger just to show how incredibly stupid it all is. Alas, not everyone sees it like that, and that's just a sad reflection on our ability to think.
I have a worry that it will take something like another Oklahoma City to make everyone snap out of it. I'd like to be wrong, but I'm not sure I am.
Cheap Shots:
Here's another anniversary you might not remember. I do.
Why algebra is important. Make your children read this.
Here is why gay marriage should be legal. If this doesn't move you then you don't have a heart.
I think the man is a jackass myself, but this was uncalled for.
Send Tancredo back to Assholeistan.
I guess he really doesn't want women to vote for him.
Governor Perry, I know things work differently in Texas, but you're a rank political hack. And one of the definitions of "rank" is to stink.
"Seismically Slutty Dames." Alas, it's not about Isabella Rossellini.
Coachella wasn't a total disaster - although no one from Europe who wasn't already here made it a few bands came and played after all, including the original Sly and the Family Stone. Oh, wait.
I wonder if some of these people here to protest Obama taking their gun rights away are aware of the fact that the reason they can take their guns into a National Park is because he signed a law saying they could? Ah, irony.
Hmmm. It doesn't sound free to me.
Blowing up my Detroit.
The Giants are playing baseball. No, not those Giants, these Giants.
Comcast is attempting to make us all stupider. And to think, I used to like Kelsey Grammer.
See what Harryhousen thinks.
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…
And because I love you, Tesla.
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Okay, I have something to say about all of the teabagger gatherings on tax day, and I'm going to do it without mentioning a certain person who is banned from this site.
The crowds you got together weren't all that impressive, were they? Where I live you get a bigger turnout for a janitor's strike. I'm not impressed, and I honestly believe that things in this country are much better than you think, and that the electorate will notice this before November. If someone in the news will just tell them - you're getting much more press than you deserve and eventually that will backfire. Just ask Kate Gosselin.
Oh, and I'm going to trademark the phrase "Tea Stupid." See yesterday's post.
Cheap Shots (keep your Gin and tonics handy):
Damn right, Mr. President.
Digby as usual does great analysis, but I would like to think that the comparative reaction has more to do with how much more sane and how much less paranoid our current leadership is.
All I can say is that I'm not the only person to notice the handy use of the word "just". Hey teabaggers - you're racist fuckers. Ted, just admit it.
We all hated the man, but this is sad.
The Iceland effect on Coachella.
Wow. Just fucking wow. We need to get our money back for this bullshit.
I have no idea really what to think about this, but it could sway elections.
You get the idea that babies in Europe have more fun than we do.
And because I love you, Alice Cooper. "Who gave it to you?" "Donny Osmond!" "What?????" That always made me laugh.
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4/15/10 - it's that day again…
Today's heavy lifting about tax day was done by the good folks over at Crooks And Liars. You should read it - I can do no better. Let's just put it this way - what the fuck are the teabaggers really complaining about? Because despite everything they say, it's not taxes.
Cheap Shots:
Aw, too bad. This would have been fun.
Republicans aren't allowed to do this, so neither should Democrats. You're wrong on this one asshole.
Dudes, if this is the best scandal you can come up with, you're really grasping at straws.
Put on your Whigs.
Again, Jon Stewart shows why he's the most trusted name in news.
Here's some snark for a very good thing - letting people in love stay together.
Turns out that the answer to "who on Fox said that if you don't buy health insurance you'd go to jail" is EVERYONE.
Sometimes, you can't go home again.
“I just don’t have time for anything,” a housewife told a news magazine in 1961. “I’m fighting Communism three nights a week.”
And because I love you, and because I don't want to do the obvious, The Rolling Stones.
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4/14/10 - Saint Peter don't you call me, 'cause I can't go…
It's been 8 days now since 29 people were killed in a mining accident in West Virginia. In these 8 days it's become quite clear that the people running the mining company don’t give two shits about anything other than profits. Rescue volunteers were turned away in the first few hours because they belonged to a union and the management of this mine is solidly anti-union. The mine has had more safety violations than I've eaten M&Ms this month (yes, it's a big number). The managers have drawn out appeals in such a way that the government red flags that warn them of problems were never tripped - and they did it intentionally.
And in violation of federal law, they still haven't publicly released the names of those who died - something they're required to do within 48 hours. They just don’t give a rat's ass about anything but themselves.
So where is Jack McCoy (bump bump) riding in to prosecute these people for negligent homicide?
It's not going to happen, and that's a real shame. There just isn't anyone out there in the political world who has the guts to take on anyone with lots of money, which is the biggest failing of capitalism. It's one of the few things that Ron Paul gets right - it's political corporatism, and it covers both major political parties so deeply that almost everyone has a stake in maintaining it. I'm not suggesting an alternative - I'm a capitalist myself and would certainly love to be rich - but I acknowledge that there are flaws in the system. This is the sort of thing the Tea Partiers should be protesting instead of hanging their heads and saying "ain't that a shame." This is where you're being taken advantage of, not by the gummint. Here is where the gummint can be doing a better job.
I know there are people who want the "free market" to do its thing. Well I have news for you, it did. The reign of President Drunken Chimp (and to be fair, those who came before as well although our previous President was worse than the 3 who came before him) gave us the lack of oversight that allowed the "free market to do its thing. And 29 as-of-yet unnamed people in West Virginia are dead for it.
If you watch the film "Battleship Ptempkin", made in Russia and telling an allegory story for the new Communist regime and about a battleship crew that revolts against their officers and then helps lead the great revolt, you might notice something. The movie has been extolled for decades as the great herald of the advance of Communism, but having seen the film I see something else instead. The sailors weren't revolting against a political system, they were rebelling against obvious corruption from their leadership. They didn't want socialism; they wanted their meat to not be covered with vermin and then declared safe by their officers.
Such things require oversight, and that's what the government is trying to do after so long without it. So what exactly are people revolting against? And when are they going to notice that the root of their problems isn't what they think?
And don't you think that the corporations who are trying to get away with poising you, killing you, and taking all of your money aren't afraid of that?
Cheap Shots:
I've now done my taxes. They went down.
Glenn Beck cannot stay away from muscle-men in mini-skirts. Dude, it's the cocaine talking.
Senator John Kerrey FTW! We at WTFIWWY support Net Neutrality.
The Young Turks make a Discovery. (By the way, I watched "Deadliest Catch" last night, the first episode of the final season during which Captain Phil Harris died - it was really a bit strange and different from prior seasons, and not just because we all know we're watching a dead man and his interactions with his sons…)
If he doesn't he's dead man walking.
What if Star Wars had been done by Kurosawa Akira?
Rachel Maddow digs in deep where few are willing to tread.
The Pulitzer versus the Bank Robber.
Isn't it against the commerce clause of the Constitution to write a law that targets only one business?
In the world of Andrew Brightbutt, it's only true if it shows up on teevee. Take away his driver's license - he's obviously not qualified to hold anything more dangerous than tissue paper.
Senator Chris Dodd FTW! Now that he's retiring, he seems to not give a shit about what the opposition thinks about him.
I think it's time for everyone to admit (as I have believed for years now) that Rasmussen polling has no fucking clue what they're doing.
Speaking as someone who had Student Loans back when the government owned them, and is paying one off now to a private bank, Rush Limbaugh is a moron.
Catching your connecting flight.
Keith Knight FTW! By the way, now that Sci-Fi has picked up Friday Night wrestling, this means that their good shows that night will hopefully be moved to a better day and time. Of course, these are the same people who now call their network "Sufi", who knows what passes for brains around there?
Sometimes I get the feeling that David Lynch consults on makeup on the side.
And because I love you, Onward, Soldiers.
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Well, it wasn't a surprise, but Justice John Paul Stevens announced his retirement today - and we're losing the most liberal thinker on the court even though he always referred to himself as a middle-of-the-road type of justice. To think that two of the court's giants were appointed by Nixon (Warren Burger) and in this case Ford. It couldn't be done today.
Consider this - he's the reason that homosexuality isn't a crime. He's the dissenting voice that said that corporations aren't people when it comes to political donations - the dissent is 90 pages long. He's the reason that the mentally retarded cannot be executed in this country. He wrote the dissent in Bush v. Gore. He was the first justice to opine that when laws come to the Supreme Court they should be weighed as to whether or not they were written by a partial legislature. He's the justice who smacked down Donald Rumsfeld by declaring military tribunals of civilians illegal. He has been a firm supporter of free speech, and although he was against it at first, he came around on affirmative action. He's the reason that prayer in school is still out of bounds. He's the man who wrote the majority opinion that said how far regulatory agencies could go in their scope.
In each and every case, he cited precedence, in some cases even quoting opinions and decisions he himself wrote decades earlier. Whether or not you agreed with him, the fact is that he represents the last of the old guard on the court - the ones who were above the politics of their surroundings and believed that they held oversight over the other branches of government - not working as members of their respective political parties and furthering their goals (Stevens is a Republican).
To paraphrase somebody - I'm not sure who now but I see it everywhere on the internet - now the Supreme Court is just going to be a collection of Republicans and Democrats who fight. The last actual judge is leaving.
Cheap Shots (get your booze ready - I'm doing hot sake today because I have a cold):
Like swatting a fly - something else he's shown himself to be good at.
So existing is a provocation? Face it, fucker, you lost the bet.
No matter what you and I think, the only way change is coming is from the inside.
Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, fuck off.
The Morgan Freeman chain of command.
Pending a Republican implosion of epic proportions that shuts down the teabaggers, Romney ain't the guy next time.
And because I love you, Jethro Tull (a rare one).
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4/8/10 - Change you can believe in - on paper
The whole umbrage that the right is taking with America's new nuclear arms strategy is baffling to me. Yes, we've announced to the world a major step towards fulfilling Ronald Reagan's nuclear free American dream. Yes, we've told the world that we will not use nukes on any country that doesn't have them. We've never said that before, but we've also been following that exact policy for over 60 years.
Of course, what the right isn't telling you is that the two countries that they hyperventilate over the most are exempt from this - North Korea and Iran - because they haven't signed into the nuclear non-proliferation treaty. Oh, and Russia, many former members of the Soviet Union (including Afghanistan, I might add), China, Pakistan, etc. are also exempt, because they already have nukes.
Dude, this gets us a lot of good will in the world and it costs us nothing. Operationally we haven't changed a thing. The Secretary of Defense went out of his way to point out that the policy is flexible and subject to change at a moment's notice dependent upon circumstances.
Oh, and terrorists? Please girlfriend, we were never going to use nukes on terrorists. The scope of the weapons are just too big and the placement of the terrorists is just too small.
So what are you really griping about?
Cheap Shots:
Didn't the last President set the bar pretty high for this sort of thing?
Dude, the fact that you can't recognize it as being racist is and of itself, racist.
Does the Senator look pissed? Yeah, she looks pissed.
This is the kind of story you used to find in newspapers.
Rest Malcolm, rest. On to your next great scam. Here's what I'll remember most.
Those liberal Muppets!
Hey, it turns out that Erick son of Erick (see yesterday's post) is a moron too.
Money, railroads, and being treated like Zaire.
Dude, just admit that you were sneaking a smoke - don't be snarky with the Air Marshall. Of course, maybe he was looking for a roommate.
Let's see if bipartisanship holds on this one.
Teh stupid, it burns! It burns like hygiene!
And because I love you, Ravi Shankar, showing skills to make any speed-metal guitarist weep.
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4/7/10 - A question for CNN's newest idiot
There's a dude named Erick Erickson (i.e., Erick, son of Erick as Jon Stewart refers to him) who runs a blog called RedState and has been hired by CNN to do occasional analysis. As you can probably guess by the title of his blog, he's a right-winger. And their hire of this man is about as appropriate as it would be to hire me to do the same job. In other words, not appropriate in the slightest.
Erickson and I have a few things in common - we're both reactionary. We're both snarky. We both insult people. We both say inflammatory things (for example, me referring to him as an idiot). The difference is that I'm aware of what I do and he's blissfully ignorant of it (maybe). For example:
He recently said that if a census taker came to his door he'd be greeted with a shotgun in order to scare the crap out of that person. The exact quote in fact was, " I'll 'pull out my [wife's] shotgun' if they try to arrest me for not filling out the American Community Survey." Of course he got a lot of crap over the remark, and so today he's defending himself by saying that liberals are "misconstruing" his words. He's saying that he doesn't actually advocate the shooting of anyone.
Fantastic.
Well, let's assume for a moment that he's telling the truth about his own inflammatory rhetoric. I have a question for him: Why are you assuming that only liberals are going to misconstrue your words? Why is it that when people say things like this that the never assume that their followers will also misconstrue their words? Misunderstanding someone's intent when they speak isn't a left versus right issue, it's a language issue - and if you've used the language in such a way that you feel that an entire segment of the population has "misconstrued" your words, the odds are pretty good that you've misused the language.
Or that you're lying.
Cheap Shots:
Courage doesn't mean you're right, jackass. It could just mean that you're a jackass.
No one who traffics in confederate nostalgia gets to criticize my patriotism. Ever.
Rachel Maddow is a journalist. Remember those? Journalists?
Given the option, I think I'll take the train.
I know it's mean, but can we ask Andrea Mitchell what she thinks of this comment?
Speaking of which, he doesn't quite have the ability to play the dozens. You don't really mess with a man's momma.
If you're a miner, maybe you should look for the union label.
I'll bet you money that pretty soon someone stupid says that the IRS will be in charge of death panels.
And because I love you, Rick Springfield.
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I have a question for all of those who want to privatize Social Security. You say we can invest the money more wisely ourselves. Tell me, can you prove to me that our broker isn't going to rip us off?
Some of the greatest and oldest investment firms of all time in the capitalist world have collapsed in the past few years. Great investors are in jail now. So here's the reality of the situation - we keep our own money and the idea is for us to invest it and earn a better return than the government does. But at least the government actually earns a return. There's nothing in this equation that takes into account the amount of money that Wall Street wants for itself.
We might be able to invest it better - but they now have the opportunity to waste it, lose it, or steal it. If you can't do something about that part of the equation, it's no longer Security. And your failure to address this makes you nothing more than a con-man.
Cheap Shots:
Walter Cronkite started to almost single-handedly end the Vietnam War with reporting like this. Sadly, lightning will not strike twice. I've seen the entire video and it's plenty horrific. In one case you can actually see dismembered limbs fly around after an explosion.
And to think that in the old days all they could blame was that demon weed.
Smack! Gibbs is a good press secretary.
So, who gets to be the last to die for a mistake this time?
This headline shows that our entire effort in Afghanistan might be a wasted effort.
Compare the "almosts" to the real thing.
It turns out that one of the female suicide bombers in Moscow last week was actually a child (I don't know about the other one). Look at this picture. She was a child. Wars should be fought by adults - this was child abuse.
Remember those days when John McCain would bring out his mother to show how much life he himself could possibly have? Maybe they should have asked her to run in his stead, because Senator McCain seems to be approaching senility. Although, if this logic holds, I never said I was less than a billionaire.
Could Nevada be replacing both Senators this year?
So you're saying that you're wary of her big stick?
This is a bloody miracle and a rare piece of good news from a disaster like this. Maybe Bob Dylan can write a song about it.
Rachel says she "looks like a dude". Specifically, Wil Wheaton.
And because I love you, Crime & the City Solution.
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4/2/10 - Drink a shot every time he says… hmmm, we need a trigger word… how about every time he swears?
And have your stomach pump ready.
Gin and Tonic Cheap Shots Friday:
CNN hasn't been the same since Ted Turner left. Jon Stewart shows us.
Charlie is no more.
Jerry Brown, FTW!
General, are you proud of this?
The only person left from season 1 of Law and Order is leaving the show. I may have to stop watching.
Convicted murderer. Bye bye asshole.
I'm not too comfortable with the idea of a Supreme Court Justice gambling, but at the same time, pay up sucker!
Apparently the Op-Ed board of the New York Times never went to either Junior or Senior High School. And people wonder why I don't read it.
BagNewsNotes is the most original blog out there. Here's a good example why.
As per usual, the President gets it.
I wonder if Rush Limburger has this one's balls as a trophy.
And because I love you, The Grays.
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4/1/10 - international act like an idiot day
I wish I knew what to think about yesterday's announcement by the Obama administration to open up offshore oil drilling in many Eastern states. I think it's a horrible mistake - and this is me speaking about the very first cause I became an activist about; offshore oil drilling in California.
It kind of feels like an April Fool's joke - one of those moments where you say to yourself, "he can't be serious."
I'm full-blown whopper-gonzo confused by this one. It's not enough drilling to actually accomplish anything and it won't even start until long after Obama leaves office - even if he gets two terms. There's not enough oil left to make a dent in our resource issues. The environmental risks are huge - and here I'm speaking as someone who remembers all of the oil spills of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and 00s - and can remember the time an oil industry spokesman actually said, "it was just a routine explosion and fire."
Obama plays a very deep game - his successes show that. He has a habit of thinking several turns down the road and thinking about the long-term, and I seriously hope that's what's happening here - that there is an overall plan that somehow makes this not a violation of a campaign promise he made. I really hope that this is what's happening - because I can't see the end result of this move.
Cheap Shots:
Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Black and White in Arkansas.
Chibi Presidents. The one of FDR will make you challenge everything you believe about him.
Two days in a row Bill ORLY has done something laudable. Has someone been slipping Prozac into his loufa?
I was going to make a joke about the planes in Spain are mainly on… but I kinda lost my train of thought.
The A-Team! Please please please don't fucking release it in 3D.
Dudes. How about lashing out at the actual pedophiles?
Not to be mean - okay, I'm being mean here. Is there a Dick compensation factor going on here?
My new bluetooth… I luvs it.
Somebody please blow up Sean Hannity.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Permission Slip
That's "poorly worded - sir!"
What a way to lose your job.
And because I love you, The Pursuit Of Happiness - or as we tend to call them, TPOH.
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George Takei, for the win. Seriously, watch that video.
Cheap shots:
Someone fuck this guy up the ass. He's asking for it and is post-pubescent.
So apparently not being a priority only costs $50 million.
Another administration official leaves the White House to star in a stoner flick.
What if they really want violence?
Can anyone tell me why I had to go to a foreign news site to discover this domestic terrorism story?
If it were me I'd be tempted to say justice would be served by the idea of "Get your own fucking lawyers." Fortunately for these people, they live in the United States.
This is a mistake. Still think he's a communist?
I do not really believe in gun control, but an IQ test seems appropriate.
Oh please, is anyone actually surprised by this?
When the right-wing bitch on The View calls you out, you're not in the mainstream.
If he keeps his word, then ORLY actually did some good here. Of course, he being him he then screwed it up.
Don't stand too close to the Implosion in Alaska.
Happy birthday Christopher Walken.
And because I love you, The Plasmatics - just look at the stunned looks on the faces in that audience.
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3/29/10 - Glenn Beck is Adolf Hitler
Okay, I'm going to say something inflammatory and mean about Glenn Beck, and it's going to make some people angry - even people who agree with my general snarky liberal approach, but I'm not wrong and I'm not going to apologize about it. I hope he hears about it in fact. Because Glenn Beck is an early incarnation of Adolf Hitler.
I get truly sick and tired of all this right-wing bullshit about how we liberals are leading people down the road towards Hitler-ism. Everyone who is saying that is either mistaken, lying, or so full of shit that their blue eyes have turned brown. They're trying to make you afraid - and while it never works on me it does make me mad. To quote Dr. Cox, "Wrong wrong wrong wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong. You're wrong!"
Take any Glenn Beck speech, radio or television appearance. What's the difference between what he says and what Hitler was saying as he rose to power? One word. Instead of saying "liberal" say "Jew". Instead of saying "socialist" say "Jew". Instead of saying "Democrat" say "Jew". Instead of saying "abortion rights activist" say "Jew". That's really all it takes to move from one to the other.
That and perhaps Glenn Beck's ongoing cocaine habit (which I've discussed before).
He's going to get people killed - he already has gotten people killed - and he should be held accountable for it. And he should be held accountable for recycling the speeches of one of the greatest political criminals and mass murderers of all time. He's a bully and is approaching the realm of becoming a madman. It won't take long for him to go over the same cliff Hitler did, trying to take as many lemmings with him as he can.
Glenn, does having me call you Hitler make you mad? Are you going to cry? Or are you going to call me "Jew?"
Cheap Shots:
Secretary of Health and Human Services FTW!
From the "it's okay when I do it but it's fucked up when you do it" files. Barack, do more of it.
Wow. The Bush II administration was actually right about these people.
Dickhead of the day: Josh Marshall.
These things always remind me of the priest character in the movie "Jeffrey", except that it isn't funny.
Dude, it's a tough job. He can put his feet up if he wants to.
I do not recall spending any money I spent at a lesbian bondage club. Dude, if you don't remember it - you did it wrong.
Yep, Cantor really was threatened, by a guy who also threatened the movie "Babe". Maybe he thought the sequel was better. But quite frankly, if this is the best you can produce than maybe you should consider if you've had your masculinity removed.
People, fill out the census forms. If you don't as a form of protest you actually cost the country more money because they will send out a person to count you, and it could cost your political party power in Washington because you will lose seats in congress thanks to the undercount. Don't be stupid.
Ricky Martin comes fabulous.
Uh huh, yeah. Right. Sure. Uh huh.
Hey! We may finally get the chance to throw Oliver North in jail, and Sean Hannity with him!
Let's quote Emily Lutella here, shall we? "Never mind."
Whoa.
And because I love you, Erykah Badu.
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3/26/10 - Glenn Beck is doing cocaine right now
I'm going right to the Cheap Shots today - I contributed nothing yesterday because it was noisy enough, thanks. Get your Gin and Tonics ready for:
Isn't it nice to have a President who can walk and chew gum at the same time?
This is the sort of shit you fuckers are encouraging. Shut the fuck up.
Hilarity ensued. With the best put-down from a congressional staffer to a teabagger I've yet seen.
To quote Woody Allen (from early in his career), "if you shoot into the sky don't stand under it."
It always pisses me off when people say we can't fix education by throwing money at it; because you can't know that - it's never been tried. But this is a good start.
Hey Coburn, if you tried to live off this much money you'd be out robbing banks before dinner.
But then again, it appears that Harry Reid has rejected his Spine Implant.
Rachel Maddow is still not running for Senate.
Happy 70th birthday to my Congress Critter.
It's also Leonard Nimoy's birthday. Here he is with four hot women in the back of his car. I love the expression on his face at about the 1:30 mark
The reality of bipartisanship, as practiced by the Republicants.
Holy crap, how did this app get through?
I don't think this is legal, General.
I'm glad Dennis Hopper was well enough to attend.
390. If you follow the links you can see them all by name and sentence.
I've only been on one of these, but I plan to do more.
Rupert Murdoch (owner of Faux News and much much more) really doesn't get the era we live in. People will just go elsewhere.
I buy suits at Men's Wearhouse. Read this to see one reason why.
Apparently, no one reads the National Review - according to a very prominent Republicant.
Oh, just give this wack-job a show on TLC and be done with it.
The guy is a jerk, but they threw him under the bus for telling the truth, so he didn't deserve it.
And another Republican is about to be thrown under the same bus.
Jackass self-awareness.
Crazy cat lady, minus the cats.
John Edwards just can't catch a break, can he?
I'm becoming more and more convinced that what Victoria Jackson is doing is actually performance art.
And because I love you, Split Enz. Er, I mean, Crowded House.
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3/24/10 - I won't lie to you Marge, I think they've lost their minds…
I have to wonder if Republicants are mostly pissed off because Obama did the unthinkable - ran on a promise and kept it.
Talking Points Memo has put together a list of the 10 most ridiculous amendments that Republicans have offered in the Senate Reconciliation Bill (i.e., the health care bill that Obama signed yesterday). Here they are, along with the person who sponsored the amendment, with my own commentary in bold.
Wanted: a Republican legislator who doesn't act like a 12 year-old boy whose first crush just laughed in his face while clinging to her boyfriend. To co-opt the very phrase they used when the bill was being debated: Get your hands off our healthcare!
Cheap Shots:
Roger Ebert nails it in less than 140 characters. Genius.
As long as Guantanamo is still open, the motherfuckers who called for this to happen and the people who actually did it should be shipped there. After all, according to the rules defined by the Bush Administration, they're terrorists. Actually, I call them terrorists too.
The new Senator from Massachusetts has a slim grip on reality.
Paranoia too! Glenn Beck is on cocaine.
This guy is a terrorist too. Put him in a glass house.
Glenn Beck Bingo! I don't recommend the drinking game unless you have a good liver and health insurance.
This is a great rant. I would have added some swearing - but that would dilute the most important sentence in the article, " First, the invitation: Come back to us."
Nowhere in the Constitution does it say that the government can bail out banks, have a protection detail for the President, provide heat and electricity to the people, build highways, create social security, create national parks, name buildings after Ronald Regan, etc…
Have a photo gallery of micronations.
I don't think that Iowans (of whom I have a few in my family) will put up with a jackass taking credit for something he voted against. Here's your bumper sticker: Grassly's ass is grass!
Our truly powerful Speaker says, "Behave." (Austin Powers imitation optional and not covered by all health plans).
What is Shep Smith doing on Faux News?
The freeway blogger strikes again. Yes, he (or she) lives in my neck of the woods.
And because I love you, Hot Chip - and yes, they're a boy band but this must be the greatest boy band video EVAR!!! Just give it a minute.
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To steal a line from atrios, has anyone's grandma been sent to a death panel yet?
It's not all that long ago that I was personally considering a primary challenge to Nancy Pelosi. I live in her district and the first 2 years of her leadership (during the final 2 years of President Drunken Chimp) were a profound disappointment. But yesterday she came through in a way that I could not have done myself.
Nancy Pelosi has said from day one that she could get the votes to pass Health Care Reform (HCR). She was doubted multiple times from many "learned" sources. The bill was declared dead more than once. It was said that she couldn't put the votes together a second time after the Senate did its changes to the original bill. It was said that this would kill her Speakership. There were lots of naysayers - you can see a partial list here.
And when the final vote came last night, Nancy Pelosi, Democrat of District 8 of California, delivered. she had the votes and she delivered the votes, and the bill passed. She counted correctly, and apparently had from day one. This shouldn't surprise anyone, because before she was speaker she was minority leader, and before that she was minority whip - the position whose very job is to count the votes.
My Congress-critter is a politician in the old school mold. These days all that a politician seems to do is make pronouncements and stand there bewildered when he/she discovers that not everyone agrees. Speaker Pelosi shakes hands. She glad-hands people. She makes back room deals. She moves money around. She arranges fund-raisers. In short, she makes deals. She knew she had to make some deals and she just went ahead and got it done. You have to admire that - she made a promise and she kept it.
Of course, the whole thing could be fucked up because of the spineless Harry Reid, who runs the Senate, but give Nancy her due - she won this one.
Now there are many talking heads who are saying today that the House just walked over the will of the people. All of the people saying this are Republicans. Well friends, they're covered too. And if you think that having better health care isn't the will of the people then you're either an idiot or a liar. Pick one.
This victory is all Nancy. It's her birthday this Friday, so you can send her flowers.
Cheap Shots:
It's only just now starting to get noticed, but HCR also included some needed Student Loan Reform.
By the way, the Socialist Party of America hates the HCR bill.
So the guy who lost is now saying that the Republicants will retaliate by… doing what they've done for the past year. Later in the day, Reid responds by growing a pair.
If I ever find myself at a rally for this man (quite unlikely, I must admit) I'm going to yell "baby fucker" at him.
Republicans have trouble with the size of Obama's… er… "package".
This man has no business calling himself a man of God. But what do I know? I have no business calling myself that either (for very different reasons). The difference is that I NEVER HAVE.
Rush Limburger doesn't have a great track record of keeping promises. So let's help him keep this one.
Condolences to the family of John Boehner. Maybe the tan finally caught up to him.
Yay John Borrowman!
Bart Stupak is Michael Moore's Congress Critter.
I had a huge crush on Jackie Fox as a kid (I'm only a couple of years younger). I'm saddened that she's not in the movie but I understand why.
And because I love you (and as a special thank you to my mom - she knows why), John Denver.
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3/19/10 - harassing a dickhead congressman
Congressman Stupak (D-fucked up) is complaining to reporters that his phone lines are jammed, and that he's being harassed at home over his vote on health care. Dude, welcome to the world of abortion doctors, at about a volume of 2 compared to the 11 they face on a daily basis. The Klingons have a saying about this sort of thing, but if you read my column you probably already know it.
Hey! It's Friday! That must mean it's time for:
Gin and Tonic Cheap Shots:
No he di'int. Oh, yes he did.
Looks like the Republicans are still ratfucking.
Anyone notice that the health care bill is the greatest deficit reduction package since Clinton's first year in office?
My cousin Peter worked on this plastic Kon-Tiki.
Teh gay caused the massacre of Serbians? What the fuck? Sometimes someone says something so stupid that it comes across like "rain causes forest fires".
Or a congressman calling the Civil War the "Great War of Yankee Aggression".
Will you fucking stop it with the 3-D already? The effect doesn't work on everyone! Me, for example.
This mashup is surprisingly cool.
Um, it was Obama that was rude? Exqueeze me?
I applaud what this person did, and the logic is certainly sound, but in polite society do I refer to this person as "it"?
Tips for your trip to Floatopia.
Geez, but Perry Farrell had a nice pad.
Why does anyone still trust Politico?
You knew this was going to happen once they made Steven Seagal a real cop.
Do the math. Apparently, the State of Arizona can't as they want to cut a program running at over 1000% profit, so they need our help.
DVDs you can't find, but might wish you could. Especially Max Headroom.
Oops.
And because I love you, the weirdest thing you'll see this weekend - Neil Young and Devo.
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3/18/10 - My mom misses my rants…
So I'm back. Sorry for yet another absence, but I got sick and spent a few days in hospital. It wasn't fun, but thousands of doses worth of antibiotics, morphine and more bed rest than I've had in a decade I'm doing better. I'm glad I have insurance - at least until the co-pay billings arrive.
I've obviously missed a lot. Fess Parker and Alex Chilton died - both of whom were influences on my life (and one of whom I actually met many many years ago - that was one hell of an afternoon). Health Care is getting towards a final vote, with Dennis Kucinich playing whip - and doing what looks like a good job of it too. It looks like Sandra Bullock is heading towards the Best Actress divorce curse. Lady Gaga is intent on proving that she's a girl (she's not). Two soldiers chained themselves to the White House fence today - a damned brave thing to do in this post 9/11 world. A "reporter" proved that interrupting a President only make the reporter look like an ass. Two of the original members of the Runaways are considering performing together again.
Senator John Ensign (R-NV) almost got away with his affair unscathed, until the FBI said today that they're getting ready to lower the boom on the man. A half-demolished freeway off ramp in my adopted hometown has been turned into a farm. Betty White got that slot to host Saturday Night Live thanks to Facebook.
If someone with Asperser's and a glass eye decides to invent credit default swaps for the health insurance industry, please call me - I will want in.
Christiane Amanpour is the new David Brinkley - I really want her to succeed at it; the last couple of occupants of that chair haven't done so well. A very prominent group of Catholic Nuns have broken away from the church and support the health care bill. Glenn Beck is still snorting cocaine. Buzz Aldrin is taking a pause from dance lessons to tell us that the Space Shuttle should be kept in operation. Meg Whitman's plan to cut taxes in California would only benefit the rich - her own taxes would be halved. The President was hung in effigy at a school, in a classroom, after all of their teachers were fired. Hillary Clinton's hairdo is news again. Corporations are legally buying judges because in many states judges run for election and corporations can sponsor them now.
There's lots to talk about - but today I feel that I would only be contributing noise to the debate. so, in the words of my inspiration, all I will say is "What the fuck is wrong with you?"!!!!!
Cheap Shots:
The CBO report on the financial impact of the health care bill created a twit-storm.
PBS in Denver goes insane.
Remember when I called Republicants child molesters? I don't apologize.
For people who want only one kind of sex to be legal they sure fantasize a lot about the kinds of sex we people who are more understanding about preferences cringe at.
George, put the Star Wars down and walk away.
Oh my fucking god. If she gets the Republican nomination, someone at the Democratic Party call me. I have the ad that will kill her written.
Some of this is a bit cringe worthy, but 6 minutes in is a howler.
And because I love you, Pat Benatar.
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Dear Glenn Beck:
This is an intervention. Glenn, I have every reason to believe that you are still a heavy cocaine user and you need help. Using the methods advanced by the "respected" Dr. Frist and after taking a close look at your many appearances on television, I can come to no other conclusion. You're a cocaine addict, and you're not recovering. It's not in your past, as you often claim. You're getting worse.
Dude, I've been a working musician most of my life - I've seen it more times than I care to think about. My first ever professional recording session back in the early 1980s featured a keyboard player who used so much coke that he was eventually reduced to a quivering mass of jelly. Trust me when I say that I know what it looks like and you show every symptom.
Let's start with the paranoia. Dude, that's one of the classic symptoms - paranoia. For the record, Obama isn't a Marxist, or a Socialist, or a dirty Commie Hippie, or a Secret Muslim - I personally know several of each of these and they all hate him. There isn't a Socialist (or whatever) on the planet who would hire Timothy Geithner. He's not trying to kill the government. He's not trying to raise the taxes of most people, although admittedly he is trying to raise yours - you are rich, after all. He's not trying to put microchips in people's bodies - no one is. You are confusing people with pets. Your paranoia is drug-fueled.
Let's talk about the impaired reasoning ability. Your chalk board demonstrations are the stuff of legend, but you misspell words. Your math doesn't always add up. You attempt to make analogies that any kid studying for the SATs would pass by as inadequate. These are mistakes a grown man shouldn't make. Face it, the drugs are impairing you.
Let's talk about your use of language. Fueled by your drug-enforced paranoia, you use a lot of run-on sentences and hop from topic to topic and idea to idea without the use of simple things like verbs. Unless you're a Kennedy (for whom it was an affectation) that's something you just can't get away with. Don't even get me started on that moment where you left language completely and barked like a dog a nearly a minute. Dude, I know you're trying to contribute to the dialogue but barking like a dog doesn't do it on any level - and no one would think so without the drugs.
And dude, using the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech to further these talks? What inspired that one? Were you back in your office with a couple of buddies laughing and saying things like, "Dude, dude - I know, I know, I know what would be sooo hilarious. Dude, it's brilliant, hear me out…" Dude, that's the cocaine talking.
Dude, the crying on television? The fact that this doesn't embarrass you in any way means that you think it's a good thing to do. You're not on a soap opera, are you? Again, that's the cocaine talking.
You've laughed off killing people by lighting them on fire, by poisoning them, and by calling for others to take some form of ambiguous action. Sure, some of this is the quest for ratings but the inspiration comes from the coke. You're not a staff writer for some cop/legal/forensic drama - that's the coke talking.
Even your haircut screams "Cocaine addict!" It didn't look good on the oldest brother in the "Home Alone" movies and if you think it looks good on you… well, that's the cocaine talking.
I'm truly sorry Glenn, but this is for your own good. You need help my man, you need help. We're happy to help you get it. You've got decent health insurance, so this is probably covered. Let's try to get you clean and sober. We want you to get better - we honestly do. I know it's tough, but we need to lock you away until you can admit to yourself and to all of us the one thing that we already know. Dig deep into your faith, my man, and say out loud the one thing that must be your first step.
Repeat after me, "I am addicted to cocaine."
Cheap Shots:
Personally, I loved the celebration.
Hmm. Good point.
Senator Jim Bunning (R-aging asshole) is apparently going to join the cast of the political remake of Office Space. By the way, for all the talk Republicans have given saying that Obama is going to cut Medicare, Bunning actually did it. And apparently he's doing it all because he's pissed off that his leadership forced him out of running for re-election…
The 5 most badass Presidents of all time.
He's the king and godfather of this type of performance, so you should listen to him.
What the fuck? How about a little common sense, people?
Doesn't the high cholesterol actually prove he's an American?
"General Pinochet, who spent the last eight years of his life fighting prosecution on human rights and other charges before succumbing to congestive heart failure in December 2006, could not be reached for comment, even by Robertson." Yes, Pat Robertson is still a dick.
You've probably seen their work before, but it's worth looking at again.
Already? Personally, I'm waiting for September or so.
I think Harry Reid is a goner, and I won't miss him. Maybe next term we can get a Senate Majority Leader with a spine. It's a pity it won't be Chris Dodd.
Speaking of spines, go Alan Colmes!
You gotta love Johnny Depp.
And because I love you, Gerry Rafferty.
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Why do you always end up down at Nick's Café? I said, "No I like it - I like it it's good." She said, "You like it now, but you'll learn to love it later."
Let's get right to it, shall we? Have a drink of your choice (mine's Gin and Tonic) and let's review some Cheap Shots:
Somebody needs to punch Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck repeatedly in the mouth. Apparently, they don't need teeth.
And the next time the current Governor of Minnesota needs to go the E.R., someone take his wallet first.
Here's hoping that Utah isn't contagious.
The U.S. beats Canada in their national sport. Then Canada pwns the U.S. (If you scroll down far enough, you can see a great picture of Dr. Zaius as Che)
You know, there should be a law that says that white people can't be allowed to say stupid shit like this.
You say "tough shit". I call you a blackmailing motherfucker. Ben Nelson too.
Here's how they made that Old Spice ad.
Um, dudes, the "R" in COBRA stands for "Reconciliation".
She's going to lose her staff assistant. I hope she got the beach house.
Hey Inhofe - shove this up your fucking igloo.
BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHHAHAAHAH!
Even I think it's too cheap to do a joke because of his blindness. See ya! (facepalm) Damn it! I'm going to duck now before Stevie Wonder punches me in the arm.
Nobody wins in the "Jesus was a vampire" debate. Everyone comes off looking like an idiot.
Even one of the Fox villagers has had enough of the Republicants on health care.
Jane Fonda - relevant again.
" I expect a scorched earth, smoking, radioactive wasteland, a postapocalypic Mad Max hellscape."
And because I love you, John Prine. I tried to find the John Denver version, which I like better, but I struck out. He was quite the activist in his time.
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And by that I mean the Canadian band.
I'm going to talk about a novel solution to our education woes. I am proposing that we need to at a bare minimum double our spending on education. Yes, double. The people who believe that we have to curtail spending are either missing a grand point or are willfully trying to make the next generation be dumber than we are - and either way they are ruining us.
It's not about teachers and schools, although that's certainly a part of it. It's about the infrastructure for our educational system that used to exist and no longer does. How about maintaining school bus fleets? How about maintaining equipment at schools? How about making certain that all the lights work? How about making certain that the teachers have enough supplies? How about modern copy machines instead of mimeographs? How about cheap laptops and internet connections? How about Pell Grants - where the hell did those go? How about interest rates on student loans that are smaller than the interest rates on credit cards? How about supporting the ever increasing number of special needs children which have been created by the "money saving" policies of the last 30 years in environmental policy?
How about just rebuilding the textbook industry? California used to have the best in the country, but it collapsed along with the rest of California's economy. Now a majority of the nation's science books come from a publisher in Texas who thinks that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a brontosaurus. Many of our English textbooks come from people who donate money to political causes that feature protestors who can't spell the word "moron". My daughter's 5th grade teacher sent out a homework assignment that included a piece of paper showing the math errors in her textbook.
Quite frankly I want my children, and yours, to be smarter than you and me. Yes, it's humbling that my 10 year-old daughter can browse the web better than I can, but I'll get over it. The world isn't getting any simpler as time goes by, and they're going to need more than our current combined knowledge to make everything work. And the only way that's going to happen is if we give them the tools to succeed. These things cost money, and the money would be well spent.
I'm not advocating taking any money from other programs either. I'm not saying we need to raise taxes. I'm not saying we need more corporate sponsorships - it's not their job, but it is ours. I'm saying we need to spend more money. Yes, it could very well be deficit spending. So what? If we lead the world in smart people doesn't it make sense that the overspending here will be made up in the profits of the ingenuity of our children and the things they accomplish? Do you have that little faith in our ability to be inventive capitalists?
And for those of you who say that throwing money at the problem is the solution - how the hell do you know? It's not like it's ever been tried.
Cheap Shots:
And don't even get me started on how fucking idiotic this is.
It's a good point - why aren't the Republicans more worried about the vote of the Sheboygan High School Science Fair than the Tea Party?
Kids, if your school-issued laptop has a web-cam, I suggest you partake in a bit of civil disobedience and turn off your computer, and then break the camera.
Glen, are you high right now? I've been a working musician most of my life and I can usually tell when someone is tripping. Glen, I'm worried about you man.
Actually, these books are historical tomes about how socialism doesn't work. One is written by a well-known Neo-con. Epic fail.
For once I kinda agree with Bristol Palin. She's entitled to the truth on this one.
Doesn't this little statistic mean that as a people we're pretty stupid already? Hey, way to reinforce my argument there!
If you want to really know what the Winter Olympics are all about so far, you should read this bit of gonzo.
Let's see the Maverick's crowd do this.
Maybe we can get N!xau to come and toss it off the edge of the world.
Competing against CPAC is TED.
Minus the rant below it, this is pretty funny. With the rant it's just kind of sad.
They went after Orrin Hatch?
Be careful of this woman - I think we're going to be seeing her in 2012.
For the record, I had nothing to do with the organized leftist blogger effort to oust Evan Bayh. You all know I spend my energies on trying to oust H.R. Puff-n-stuff.
So how long will it take before the left calls this guy a right-wing terrorist, and the right calls him a left-wing terrorist? Did it happen before I posted today's column? Or was there a response even sicker than I could imagine?
You know, you should be careful who you spam.
Sometimes the internet is full of win, and sometimes it is full of weird. And on special occasions, it has both in the same place.
And because I love you and in celebration of Rush Thursday, Rush.
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I’m going to take a break today from politics if for no other reason than all I have to do is say “look at my very first post” and I’m caught up with the world. Instead I have decided to list my 11 favorite albums of all time, at least as of today. This list changes a lot depending upon my own moods but I’ve found over the years that there are some consistencies and I’m going to discuss those in a bit of depth. Keep in mind that if you ask me tomorrow, this list would be different.
To qualify, the album has to be a few years old. The reason for this is that an album needs to still be as solid when you hear it later as it did that first time. Also, there can’t be a single track on there that you would switch away from if you heard it on the radio. You know how it goes – there’s that one clunker on the album that you always skip on your iPod. Finally, the album has to flow – it can’t just be a collection of songs; some thought as to the track order must be considered.
So with all of that in mind, here’s my list as of today:
11 – Rumours (Fleetwood Mac)
The biggest selling album of all time until Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” knocked it away, this great album was recorded while the two couples in the band were undergoing horrific breakups. And yet an album full of hope and terrific, fresh ideas came out of it. Face it, you know most of these songs without me having to tell you. “Don’t Stop” became the theme of Bill Clinton’s rise to power and practically gives the 1970s justification for having happened at all. “Dreams” and “Gold Dust Woman” gave Stevie Nicks her career and have depths to them that you may not notice without repeated listenings. “The Chain” has one of the simplest and awesome breakdowns mid-song that you’ll ever hear.
10 – The Innocent Age (Dan Fogelberg)
A double concept album, this album when played in order chronicles an entire life, from birth to death, all the while covering just about any emotion possible. The album has not one, but two songs that can make a grown man cry; “Same Old Lang Syne” and “Leader of the Band”. In my college years this album helped me get to sleep at night whenever the people across the hall would blast The Specials “One Step Beyond” all night. The last track, “Ghosts”, manages to pull off the trick of being haunting and sentimental at the same time.
9 – Power Windows (Rush)
I love Rush. Love love love love love. There’s no other band like them. I was a big fan before this album, and have been ever since, but it’s this release where I feel that Rush gelled into the monster they still are today. Over the course of 8 songs they manage to show off such astonishing technical skill that most musicians like me just look in awe. Strange harmonies, unusual time signatures, and a sound that seems like it couldn’t just come from three guys. Neil Pert was already considered one of Rock’s great drummers – but on this album he finally figured out how to meld traditional drums with electronic ones and the results are astonishing. Geddy Lee was already considered a great bass player, but here he takes what he does and creates a foundation – not just show of his chops. This is also the album where Geddy decided he doesn’t have to sing like a Bee Gee. Alex Lifeson on this album changed his guitar style from flash to substance, and what results is that his guitar playing away from the solos becomes a star of its own. The lyrics are focused on stories on this album, and on real events – like “Manhattan Project”, the story of the first atomic bomb. The final track “Mystic Rhythms” is an homage to the indigenous people of Northern Canada and is about as perfect an album closer as you’ll ever find.
8 – HUP (The Wonder Stuff)
This is one amazing album, start to finish. One of the biggest bands in England in their day (yes, bigger than U2) they came across like a cynical version of The Beatles. They had an astonishing first album that slayed everything in its path and destroyed Rick Astley (who never recovered until “Rickrolling” came along). This is their second album, and it takes the power of what they had done before and polishes it into a seamless flow of anger, youthful energy, thoughtfulness, and kick-ass rock and roll. A sizeable chunk of my own first album was inspired by a single song on this, “Cartoon Boyfriend”. The drumming is frenetic, the bass playing is thunderous, the violin is turned into a rock instrument, and the simplicity of the guitar work above all of that gives the work some power.
7 – Apple Venus Volume 1 (XTC)
A mix of activism, pain and hope, this album is the “mellower” half of the two album set called “Apple Venus” (the second volume was released 2 years later) and in my opinion the far superior of th
